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Many thanks for all the e-mails, messages etc., they're all very much appreciated. Here are your questions, and the answers you want (I hope... )
Want to ask me something? Click here.
Hiya shaun.....
had your new book for xmas...'last rites'...what can i say....brilliant!!!...once again.Am now reading one of your older books that i managed to aquire from Ebay...'The Terminator'. I Have all of you horror collection!....but especially love the books with 'Sean Doyle'....Many thanks for the hours of enjoyment you have given me!! All the best to you and you family for the year 2010!! take care,
zoe granger.xx
Thanks, Zoe, very kind of you to say so. Glad you enjoyed LAST RITES, hope you like THE TERMINATOR too...
Hi Shaun, and Happy New Year!I actually couldn't believe it that Rage Against The Machine beat some X-Factor bollocks to the Christmas number one. Christ it makes you think there may be intelligent life out there after all. Anyway, I hope you had a cracking Christmas and I also hope that 2010 will be good to you (and to your readers!)I reckon one of the next books you write should be like a social commentary or something more heavily focused on Celebrity culture and how obsessed we are with worshipping the altar of capitalism and all that bollocks - of course with fuck loads of gore, sex and swearing thrown in for good measure. But I was thinking like... writing from the point of view of someone who is entering a song contest that obviously does not in any way relate to the X-factor (wink wink) and has got to the finals, while some axe wielding maniac (who could be like a pissed off X Factor reject or something) who goes around slashing up people who are in the contest. You could also have some hardcore detective beating the shit out of one of the judges who obviously isnt based in any way on Simon Cowell. If you wrote something like that, I'd actually buy it, and not just freeload from the library! (well that depends on how skint i am, student life is a fucking joke at the moment) Anyway i've got to run because essays unfortunately don't write themselves. Happy new year, and best wishes.
Sam, Carlisle
Yes, it was great to see the X-Factor twat beaten into oblivion in the race for the Xmas number one...sort of restored my faith in human nature for a few days...I also noticed in a poll a few days ago that 48 percent of the public hate celebrity culture...a shame the other 52 percent are so fucking sheep-like and more interested in the pointless lives of these talentless twats...an axe wielding psycho who slaughters contestants in a song contest eh?....I think a murderer in a TV reality show has been done...but I could be wrong...
Hi Shaun.
I'm Michael from Liverpool and since I think Heathen is one of the best books ever written, I was wondering if there are any plans for a movie or TV series based on it?
While reading it, I had a strong sense of it making an excellent gritty Channel 4 horror drama.
Also, it seems to have a strong conveyance of secret societies of Illuminati or Skull and Bones style. Could you perhaps briefly summarise some of the research you did for the story and whether you ran into any trouble whilst doing so?
Cheers and keep up the good work.
Thanks for the kind words about HEATHEN, Michael. No, there are no plans to film it...and never likely to be either...getting your stuff filmed or made into a TV series isn't a bout how good it is I'm afraid, it's all about which people your agent has fucking lunch with...The research was pretty straightforward, reading about the Hellfire club mainly then working them into the plot. The usual thing. Glad you enjoyed it though. I must admit, it's one of my own favourite books (er...favourites of books I've written, I mean...)
Hello Shaun, Hope you are well.
Why is it illegal to kill these despicable fuckers when I believe that it is our duty as rational thinking people to do so? They have no friends and there families disown them, they were probably bullied at school and had the shit kicked out of them on a regular basis, there own children tell there schoolmates that they have died, even there own mothers fucking hate them, in fact, when you are driving along and see one of these retards in the street all you want to do is drive over the useless wankers. I am of course talking about that scum of the earth,'Traffic Wardens',,,,,CUNTS,,,,,all of them. Today I received a polite note on my windscreen telling me what a silly man I was for parking on a small piece of the public highway,(that I helped pay for) and therefore could I please give them 30 quid for doing so. I was parked outside a council building,(that I helped pay for), went inside to speak to an employee,(who's wages I conrtibute towards) to buy a permit that allowes me to park outside my own fucking house,only then to be confronted by this uniformed sack of shit with a stupid fucking grin on his face brandishing a ticket written especially for me. Come to think about it, I pay for his fucking wages as well. When I become Prime Minister,(and I will, it only takes common sense and conviction from the voters) I will give everyone an extra days holliday, this day will be known as 'Twat a Warden Day'.One day a year we can all park where the fuck we want, for as long as we want, and if we see any of those cunts who have given us a ball ache during the year we can club the fuckers to death without fear of arrest, in fact, prizes will be given out to the more adventures participents. What possesses these fuckwhits to do that job in the first place, don't they realise that the whole human race will fucking hate them? What I do know, is that if any one of these inbreeds ever came into my local we would have much mirth in ramming pool balls up there arses with broken bottles.
Shaun, I make no apologies if I have offended any of the millions of your fans who visit your website that happen to be Traffic Wardens because they're all cunts and they know it. Why can't they become Morris Dancers, Train Spotters, Black Pudding Juglers, Pile Cream Sellers, Ear Wax Collectors, or one of those silly cunts who dress up as Mascots at football matches,( I bet that they don't tell there mates down the pub what they get up to on a Saturday afternoon,,,,,,cunts,,,). Remember, when I get to No 10 all Traffic Wardens days are numbered,they have been warned.
Our prisons are full of murderers from Ian Brady, Peter Sutcliff, Rose West, Donald Neilson, Garry Glitter to name but a few, what a fucking waste of good tallent. Instead of keeping them rotting away in prison why don't we put there skills to good use, let the fucking lot of them out and give them a list of all the Traffic Wardens names and adresses then let them get on with it,(now that's what I fucking well call Community Service). Come to think about it Shaun, why don't we have 'Twat a Warden Day' on your birthday in honnor of your work and thoughtful rants, might even make you my Deputy P.M. Going down the pub now to watch the footy,(sorry about Liverpool not making it any further in the Champions League, honest mate, I just pray that Scum don't win it). Hold on a bit, just one more thing before I go,,,,,,.Thought I might enter myself in this years 'X' Factor,(don't take the piss,I'm deadly fucking serious,I've worked it all out). AllI have to do is eat like a fucking pig and put on sixteen stone, develop a silly stutter, proclaim to the world that I am not doing this for myself but for my cripple mother, my blind son, my prostitute wife, my deaf uncle and my long lost dog,(he isn't dead, he just fucked of from the park one day and I lost him). I will tell that Cheryl Cole what a wonderful talented human being she is,(this may take some time due to my stutter, but it gets the sympathy vote), sing a song that everybody is sick and tired of fucking hearing, and have a voice like Bernard Manning with a blunt stick up his arse, wave a lot to the brainless fuckwhits in the audience, and cry like a baby with a nappy full of shit at the end. When you consider that previous winners have only had one of these attributes each then you can bet your fucking pension on me winning the final. It goes without saying that after twelve months there will be a book about my life as a Superstar,(might need your help on that one Shaun, 60%, what do you think)? What a year this is going to be for me, worldwide singing superstar and Prime Minister, in a few years they will make a blockbuster film about it,(I'll keep you posted on that one).
Oh, nearly forgot, I have to ask you a question don't I? O.K. here goes. Did Albert Tatlock ever play in goal for Liverpool and China? My mate down my local thinks that he did, but then again he thinks that putting tooth paste on your knob is better than taking Viagra, don't try it, it took me all night to wash the fucking stuff off.
See you next time around mate.
Live long and happy,
Lawrence.
Lawrence, here's a revolutionary idea for you...don't park where you shouldn't and you won't get a ticket....Sorry, mate, couldn't resist that...I know they're (traffic wardens) the most hated group of people when anyone's asked but I'd go for Estate Agents, solicitors or anyone in banking myself. Your plan to win the X-Factor sounds foolproof...your're a fucking genius...I was thinking of entering Big Brother but am handicapped by being able to string more than three words together at one time, having a brain and not being able to run around naked while shrieking like a fucking idiot...In answer to your question, yes, Albert Tatlock played in goal for Liverpool and china behind a back four that included Mussolini, Ralph Lauren, Enid Blyton and Lawrence of Arabia...toothpaste on your nob....fuck me...
Hi Shaun and happy new year. I loved Body Count, more like that one please. I'm gonna get last rites when it comes out on paper back (hope the Tigers don't get relegated by that point) and I just wanna know is your next book the long awaited Doyle return. We all love the non pc rebel.
Stay cool mate.
Francis
Glad you liked Body Count, Francis, let me know what you think of LAST RITES when you've read it. The Tigers getting relegated...er...it could be a bit of a tricky end of season for your boys...I think Portsmouth are fucked already, possibly Bolton and I've got a sneaking suspicion Sunderland might just go or maybe Burnley. Hull's last game of the season is against Liverpool isn't it? See you at the KC....
Hi Shaun Hutson
Could we put your website in our LINKS section over at our Independent Horror/Thriller film group website www.opticnerveproductions2002.com
We remember you coming to our library in Longridge, Preston Lancashire in the late 90's (check the pic) you signed a copy of Fangoria for us and my friend Glen is your biggest fan still today, he was telling me about your Shaun's shit section on your website (great section by the way)
Anyway enough ranting on, hope you are well and everything is going well for you.
Mark and Tray
Of course you can put a link to my site...I don't know what the fuck you have to do but feel free and, any problems then contact Graeme who so kindly runs the site for me. I signed a copy of Fangoria...fuck me, didn't your mate have one of my books to sign...(just kidding...) Say hello to him from me and glad you all enjoy the Shaun's Shit section...
Hello Shaun
My name is Rasel (that's a girl in case you don't remember) and I have just finished Body Count. Sorry it took so long, but I tend to be about 18 months behind with your books now that you don't sign any more - I search online for about a year, then if no luck I give up and borrow from the library (I like your books signed you see). Anyway, I have read all of your books and I have been a fan since the mid 80s. Not as long as some I am sure, but something to be proud of - and I am. I actually met you once a loooong time ago at a music shop ( I think Pete was the owner's name) and I was able to rush back home and ambush you whilst you were gabbing to him (hence me liking signed copies of your books). But that was more years ago than I care to remember; you were in your tidy short hair days anyway. But I digress. I thought Body Count was the best of your books to date ( I don't count the pseudonyms which I assume were written for a quick buck). I was wondering how you rated it amongst your books and what your feelings were when you finished it - pleased, very pleased, not so pleased, diappointed, etc?
I am looking forward to Last Rites but since there isn't any signed copies about, I assume it'll be another 12 months before my library gets it.
Thanks for your time.
Rasel.
A fan since the mid-eighties...bloody hell...thanks. That's one of the things I love about my readers, their loyalty (and staying power..ha, ha...) Whereabouts did we meet, Rasel? I'm curious now...it always worries me when people tell me they've met me because I hope I wasn't rude/objectionable/mouthy or anything else and just can't remember...I was quite pleased with BODY COUNT when I finished it (it's not often I finish one and think 'Fuck me, I've done well there...') Let me know what you think of LAST RITES when you've finished it...
hello shaun, just wanna ask, how do i go about tryin to get your autograph? i would like to have it if i could send a book to uso you cold sign it for me please. obviously im trying to get all your books (as every fan im gessing) but my girlfriend seems to find me wierd for wanting to get the american version of deathday. i have been looking for it for a wile and i've now found out how i can get it and how much it will be. but i just want to know is how big is the scene that is in it that isnt in the british version? i would like to know before i get it please, even if you don't im still getting it. thank you
luke
If you want a signed book, Luke then send one to my publishers and they should forward it to me for signing...Your girlfriend thinks you're weird...(I was trying to think of something witty there but couldn't...) To be brutally honest, the scene in the American version of DEATHDAY is about a paragraph longer than the one in the English edition...so I wouldn't spend your money uneccessarily...there, can't say fairer than that can I?...
Hi Shaun
Just read Last Rites could not put it down, absolutely brill as your books are what a finale but alas i was totally dissapointed there must have been a dozen deaths in this novel, but not one in my name John Burrell the manc who keeps reminding you that you are watching a football team dumped out of the cup at home by no hopers and are just a bit worse than Utd .And we have got no hope of winning out like you we have no money to buy new players.Alas like you lot we are run by yanks who dont give a fuck about the teams I have probably said it before ,but how can they be allowed to borrow vast sums of money to buy a football club and put a profitable football club into huge debts.anyway keep up the good work.
cheers
John
Hello, John, good to hear from you again. Sorry I didn't kill you in Last Rites (but glad you enjoyed it anyway...) I will get around to it I promise...I know we were dumped out of the cup by a bunch of no-hopers (er...Leeds at home...at least bloody Reading were only one division lower than us...) How the fuck do we get rid of these yanks, John? Both clubs are being ruined and it's ridiculous. No amount of protests are going to get the fuckers out. At least Randy Learner at Villa seems to care about the club rather than seeing it as a prolonged marketing tool. Trouble is, as you say, none of them give a fuck about the fans (but then again, do the clubs themselves really give a fuck, I think not unfortunately...) I don't know about you but I reckon the fact that your lot and the mighty Reds are not playing that well and yet are still doing ok says more about how shit the rest of the Premier League is...Best league in the world...er.. if you like hundred mile an hour headless chicken football. It always makes me laugh when Sky bang on about the quality of the football in the Premier League and then Richard Keys introduces the Stoke v Wigan or Portsmouth v Hull game, yeah, Richard top notch...We're at your place soon but, if you spot me sneaking down Matt Busby way, don't point me out....cheers, mate...take care..
Hi Shaun.
My name is Jeani Rector and I am the editor of the e-zine The Horror Zine at http://www.thehorrorzine.com.
The mission of The Horror Zine is to support struggling writers, poets, and artists by displaying their work to a world-wide audience and also to enhance their resume. Not all of our contributors are unknown or struggling, however. We do have contributions from Graham Masterton, Ramsey Campbell, Simon Clark, and Trevor Denyer, but there are many other talented people who have not made the big time....yet.
The reason for this email is: I was wondering if you would consider submitting a story to The Horror Zine. Reprints would be fine as well. You see, a well-known writer like yourself could be an example to the struggling writers on my zine that they too, can be successful if they work hard and do not give up. Also, I would be happy to promote your latest book with a link as to where it can be bought, or anything else you want to talk about in the bio that accompanies your story.
I hope to hear from you.
Thanks,
Jeani Rector, Editor
The Horror Zine
http://www.thehorrorzine.com
As you publish struggling authors, Jeani then I'll be happy to submit a story...what kind of length...when would you want it etc. etc.
Hi Shaun
When's the next book out? Unfortunately, I love them so much that I read them too quickly. However, I do have yet to get The Last Rites. Its just that with Christmas just gone, I can now go and spend on myself and get this book. I just know that it won't last more than a couple of days though, so I need to know when I can look forward to getting the next one!!!!!!!!!!!
Yours truly, an avid reader and loyal collector,
Amanda
Slow down with your reading, Amanda, I can't write that bloody fast...let me know what you think of LAST RITES after you've spent your two days reading it...
Hi, Shaun.
I hope you are doing well in this New Year.
Bill was a genius and is still unappreciated many years after his death I still can't get over the fact that the talentless fool named Harry Hill beat him in that channel 4 countdown of greatest comedian talk about insulting.
I have just bought a batch of your books and I will read Hybrid then followed by The Skull after I finish the Dean Koontz novel I am reading.
I was reading your piece on the depress millionaire writer, and trust me I can understand your anger. I am waiting for my novel to be in print (I have just finished my second) and I have to find the money myself to pay for the expenses, I spent amount a hefty amount of money on a books signing event and no one showed up due to weather and the lousy hotel.
And this bitch that has millions, she has the money and lifestyle most authors dream of having, and she is depressed, all I can say is fuck you, don't be so ungrateful does she know how many struggling writers there are in the world? And she even has the audacity to say she can't write, now that pisses me off, there are writers out there who dream of having more hours to write, but can't because of jobs and families, and this tart says she cant because she is depressed. I don't believe this, all writers dream of having all day to write and not worry about money. This bitch has all of the privileges and she still bitches.
Sorry but this pisses me off.
Any how I hope your new novel is coming along fine (if you are writing one at the moment)
Take care.
James Miles
Good to hear from you, James. Good to know that you agree with me about Bill too...(I still miss him, silly as that sounds...) That bit about Marian fucking Keyes was just too much for me and I'm glad it struck a chord with you too...Good luck with your own books and, just one word of advice...don't do signing events...not yet anyway...
Hi Shaun
I'm just sat here sipping whisky out of a Whinnie the Pooh cup (Don't worry it's my daughter's not mine, I just can't be arsed to do the dishes) I've not been on the site for a bit and consequently missed some of the rants and what i've came back to has shocked me! I know you have heard this all before from loads of other fans but don't ever publish that soppy shite again. Whatever those problems are/were that you refferred to, I know you can sort them out. Remember, you have an army of Hutson fans behind you wherever you go who would gladly demolish any threat for you at the drop of a hat (quite a good idea for a short story or something - the crazy author with his army of devoted fans hell-bent on world domination! Ha ha) Anyway just thought i'd express my concern about that off-colour rant. As for the latest one it sounds like a heavily censored version of one of your normal rants. It doesn't matter though because I can just picture the obscenities slotting in there somehow anyway.
Thought i'd keep you updated on my pitiful pursuit for publication (Man my alliteration is on top form today for some reason - could be because i'm drinking Bell's whisky rather than the usual Jack) Anyway it still aint improved, I think i've had one more rejection since I last emailed you and I still aint heard from the other thousand. Got any more advice you could give? I know you must get sick of being a fucking agony aunt but thought i'd seek reassurance (ha ha!) Don't suppose you could put in a good word for me with your agent or something! I've pretty much given up on trying to sell this book and I reckon i'm gonna move onto something different but its always worth a shot huh?
Anyway mate I think its about time I put a bloody good horror film on (maybe Slugs!) and fall into an alcohol induced coma half way through, only to wake up tomorrow with a skull splitting headache, dry mouth and crippling feeling of self-loathing for making an arse out of myself to my favourite author!
Hope to read more of your usual shit real soon mate. Keep it up!
Toodles
Phil
Thanks for the kind words, Phil. That's about the one thing that keeps me going to be honest, knowing that I've got such brilliant readers...On the publication thing I wish I could give you some advice, Phil but when I've got my own agent telling me how crap the business is at the moment then I don't know what to tell you...Basically, I think all but about 100 authors are struggling, every other book is about/by a fucking celebrity or about someone who was abused as a kid...so the rest of us are fucked to put it mildly...no, I'm not sick of being an agony aunt, it's nice to talk to someone who feels the same way...good luck with the books, Phil and keep me posted on how you're doing...
Hi Shaun,
It's only me Marcus, Nigel's mate from my Birmingham days. Yes, I know I am always after you when I need something.....well, you're right!
My horror shop failed miserably, but I did have some fun when I sold the coffins, with one guy who looked like Fred West, paid in cash via ebay as he didn't want me to have his address and also wanted to keep the fact he had a coffin, hidden from his wife........Cuckoo...
My next shot at saving my soul is the following;
_www.justgiving.com/norwichshirt_ (http://www.justgiving.com/norwichshirt)
I am being sponsored to wear a Norwich shirt on the pitch at half-time at Ipswich, Portman Road during the WBA game on 26/01/10.....may be the last time you hear from me.
Anyway the whole thing is in aid of Haiti and I have been in touch with their FA who are delighted that fans are even thinking of them, please see letter I sent on their site.
_http://www.fhfhaiti.com/actualitedeatils.php?idactu=94_ (http://www.fhfhaiti.com/actualitedeatils.php?idactu=94)
I am trying to publicise this event but also roll this out nationally, under the title of STRENGTH COMES WITH UNITY, which is the Haitian Team's motto. I have written to everyone in football, FIFA, FA, every league and non-league club etc. I am hoping that Celtic and Rangers lead the way with their game on 20/02/2010.
A brave fan from each side is chosen and sponsored. At the start of the game they come out wearing their own shirts and are paraded in front of the opposition fans. They then meet on the centre circle and swap shirts actually wearing each other's shirts. The point being you sponsor one of your fans to wear the shirt of your rivals in public!
I need help and would appreciate if you would email this to everyone you know. This needs to be fan driven and is about raising money but also showing public signs/roars of support for Haiti.
Anyway, I'm for me lie down in that dark room again.
God bless
Marcus
Fuck me, Marcus...you've got balls or steel, mate...wearing a Norwich shirt at Portman road is bad enough but the mad sods who swap shirts at the Old Firm game must have a death wish...I can imagine that happening at a Liverpool, Manc game (I don't think...)It's a wonderful idea and I hope you do well with it, I'll pass on this e-mail (and your burial requests) to friends...seriously though, good luck mate...
hello mr H.
i have found a couple of books on amazon under your name that i do not own. thing is that they are rather pricey, so i wanted to check that they are genuine first. so.... did you write swords of vengence and men of blood? i only ask because they are £200 and £50. i dont really 'do' computers, so this was a struggle!!! with thanks for enriching my life,
Jay barnes. (no kiss).
Yes, I wrote Swords of Vengeance and Men of Blood, Jay...two hundred quid...fuck me...I should get some of my own copies on e-bay...I don't 'do' computers either so I really appreciate your e-mail...let me know if you get the books or not...
Cineworld or Odeon?
I know you're a big cinema fan and live in Milton Keynes, so which do you prefer?
I used to love the Odeon when it was a UCI, but that EasyCinema was a load of wank!
Apollo Candy
Cineworld by an absolute mile...I used to go to the Odeon when it was The Point but Cineworld is superb...on a par with any cinema I've ever been in. I love it...(but that bloody pick and mix next to the café is costing me a fortune...two quids worth of raspberry jellies nearly every time I go in...I'll be broke by the end of the year...)..
Right, folks, that's my lot. I was going to rabbit on about some stuff here but then thought, no, I'll have a rant instead...so, have a look at Shaun's Shit and see what you think...
Hello, folks,
Before I start on the questions I just want to say that the very PC rant I did was meant to be a piss take...sorry if I misled you all into thinking I'd become a staff writer for HELLO...Needless to say there was a reason for that ball-less rant. I don't even know all the details myself but the complaints about my passionate rants didn't come from a member of the public and it certainly didn't come from one of you guys. I will let you know what happened if I ever get all the details but don't worry, I'm not going soft...there is a new rant on the site so have a look and see if I'm back on track. If the sparkling humour (well, you know what I mean...) is a bit below par then sorry but I am having some problems I need to sort that are of no concern to you fine people but that are making me even more depressed and angry than normal...more details in due course...Anyway, fear not, I'm still angry, I'm still raging, I still hate fucking celebrities (in fact, I hate nearly everyone for that matter...) and I will keep going as long as I can....
Down to business...
Hello Shaun, hope you are well.
First of all, many thanks for including my rant on your last Questions page (does this make me a writer)?
What a pity that my mates down my local refuse to believe that i wrote to such a famouse geezer,anyway,fuck em. Just came out of a dark room after having a good cry because earlier today i heard that THE FUCKING BANKS have been told by the courts that they can keep all of the money that they have stolen of me for the past six years. Apparently it didn't matter that two courts beforehand told the greedy twats to give it back, ( i wonder if the judge has a cushy job on the board of one of these banks, or am i talking bollocks )? If i dont have enough money to put it in my electric meter it gets dark, if i dont have enough to put in the gas meter it gets cold, they dont tell THE FUCKING BANKS to take fifty quid out of my account do they? The landlord down my local in Northampton dosn't fine me fifty quid because i missed the game last Thursday night, so why can THE FUCKING BANKS take my money without even asking? Last month i had to pay o35 for my car insurance only to be told by letter that i only had o30 in my account and therefore could i kindly fuck off and beg on the streets for the remaining five quid, this letter the greedy cunts inrormed me had cost me forty fucking quid. At this time i had a gormless smirk on my face because i truly belived that THE FUCKING BANKS would have to give it all back with interest and that we could all shit in there doorways when ever the mood allowed,I did try to avoid these bank charges by asking the bank manager for an overdraft, now i didn't ask to shag his wife, or bugger his pet poodle, no, i only asked for THE FUCKING BANKS to give me a few quid to see me through the month.Needless to say, i did fuck off out of his office,( he probably charged me a fucking fortune for that pleasure to) and told my wife that THE FUCKING BANKS have shafted us again. What a great story line for your next book Shaun,;;;; Man goes nuts in a bank because of unlawfull charges and rips the cock of the Manager. Just how many Bank Managers have you killed off in the past? (clearly not enough of the fuckers ). Anyway its time for dinner (where all having the egg today) see you next time arround mate.
Live long and happy,
Lawrence.
Having a rant on my question page probably does now make you a writer, Lawrence. I mean, every other fucker in the world is a writer aren't they? Jordan, Martine Mcutcheon and every other no mark who's getting stuff published and I would say you're infinitely more qualified to call yourself a writer than those two useless cunts...Why would your mates doubt that you wrote to me...(famous might be stretching it beyond the bounds of credibility but...)...get them to log on to the site and they'll see you did...Banks...don't get me started. Like accountants and everyone else they love you when you've got plenty of money but when you haven't they treat you like a cunt...If they were just honest it would be more bearable...instead of apologising for having to charge for overdrafts etc. If they just spoke to us all with the contempt they actually feel for us it might be more bearable...fuckers...Ripping the cock off the bank manager...sounds like a new game show...all the best..
Hi Shaun,
I wrote to you a few years ago via your site, and you were kind enough to write back. I've been a fan (almost) since day one and was reading some of your recent responses and totally agree with your comments regarding horror books being published. It certainly is happening in cinema at the moment albiet all remakes from the classic 70's stuff. This lead me on to thinking about your choice of topics to write about and if the current slump in the horror market puts you off writing certain genres. Do you ever get pushed into writing books that are not your first choice? What I love about you is your diversity ( I love those war books - another one would be great!) however, my first read was a pure horror 'Slugs' and I have fond memories of those early books. How about a third book about 'Slugs' to make it a trilogy? After all, the horror in the cinema is all about remaking old classics at the mo!
All the best
Steven Burge
I would actually quite like to do SLUGS 3 but my publishers wouldn't want it. Publishers do sometimes try and push you towards certain subjects but, to be honest, unless you're one of the huge sellers, they couldn't care less what you write because they don't publicise it anyway. Either that or an editor will suggest something (sorry, will add something to a subject you've already suggested, I almost gave the impression that editors were creative...) usually totally unworkable. I think you can only write about what you want to write about, what grabs you at the time. It's no good trying to keep up with trends. If you write horror they say they want more thrillers and if you write thrillers they say it's not horrific enough...you're fucked either way...
Hi, Shaun.
Thanks for the response, I wished I spent more time in the typing of my first message, I noticed many errors (not a good sign, for a writer)
I am pleased you liked my rant, yours are great and better though. Love your little piece about internet porn, couldn't agree more there. A little porn didn't hurt anyone and people should stop overreacting if you ask me.
I noticed that you also like the late great Bill Hicks as well, that surprised me as I too am a huge fan of the late brilliant comedian.
On a side note I spotted a reference to you in the late great and frankly criminally underrated horror writer Richard Laymon's novel The Stake.
Thanks for answering my questions I too love the novel The Exorcist, the film was fucking brilliant as well.
It is fucking amazing to get a response from one of my all time favourite writers.
Don't worry I won't take up any more of your time.
Keep those books coming.
God bless and take care
James Miles
You can take up as much of my time as you like, James....Glad you like the rants and also that you share my love for the genius who was Bill Hicks. I often wonder what he would have made of this shit, celebrity obsessed fucking culture...Nice to see you agree with me about the porn too...Feel free to take up my time whenever you like. All the best...
shaun baby!!!!!!
i just read your december rant.
are you okay???? i love your rants and hoe you moan and grown about people please please come back to us. xxxxxxx
what did you get for xmas? i hope you and your family have /had a good one.
love you love your books and love gray for getting the website together its like my second home here. all the best for 2010!!!!!
in the new year i am renewing my wedding vows you and your lovley wife are more than welcome to come and you can meet us mad lot, lol lots of drink,food and dancing. xxxx just got to say it again ..... shaun baby. lol
Rachael
I was being ironic, Rachael....but obviously not very effectively...Don't worry, I'll go back to slagging people without using any restraint or irony. Good luck with your wedding vows...
Dear Shaun, hope you are well,
What in god's name is an 'isobar'? I have had the good fortune in my life to have visited most of the cities around Europe and never have I claped eyes on one, yet every night after the six o'clock news this skinny bitch who gives the weather forecast bangs on for half an hour about the fucking things.Where I come from in Northampton we get on our telly an ugly cow with no tits who has a face like a Bull dog licking piss of a nettle telling me that we have fucking 'isobars' again On many a night on my way home from the pub I have looked to the heavens, but I'me fucked if I can see one, you never hear of any planes crashing to the ground after hitting one do you?,,,,and what are they supposed to fucking do anyway? And while I'me at it,,,,,,what the fuck is a 'cold weather front'? ,,,,,,Thats the thing that looks like a bit of string with flags on it. Is is the bit before the cold or the bit after? because it's all bollocks to me. And why when this brainless slut comes on does she have to tell us what the weather was like today?,,,,,,,,,I fucking know what it was like, I was in it you stupid whore, try telling me what it's going to be like tomorrow,if you can. I kid you not Shaun,,,,,,tonight she came out and advised us all to ""Wrap up warm if you are planning on going out tonight"". Well fuck me,,,,,who would of thought of that in fucking December, the truth is that we have all had the piss taken out of us. Isobars, Cold or warm weather fronts,The lock ness monster,Father Christmas, The trophy cabinet at Northampton Town F.C. DO NOT EXIST. Another good story line for your next book Shaun,,,,,,A plane load of weather girls on there 'you can shag us for a lager' weekend in Prauge smashes into a mountain after hitting an isobar and kills the fucking lot of them, bring back Michael Fish,,,,at least he knew along with the rest of us that he was a useless cunt.By the way Shaun,,,,,,a while ago I asked you to send me a signed photo and you rightly pointed out to me what a stupid twat I was that by not giving you my adress prevented you from doing so,,,,,,,well iv'e found a solution to this problem,,,,,,why dont you send it to my neighbor and then he can give it to me when he gets home from his Morris Dancing classes? If you want to know where he lives, thats easy ,,,,two doors up from me. Don't know why I didn't think of that in the first place.
Have a great Christmas mate, may all your wishes come true,
Lawrence.
P.S. Im'e supposed to ask you a question are'nt I ? O.K. then, hear goes... Given the choice, which one of the Bay City Rollers would you take on holiday with you.See you next time around mate.
Lawrence, you're a fucking nutter...(thank God..)...I love your rant but you still won't get that signed photo if I don't know where to send it you twat...Tell your Morris dancing neighbour to send me his address...I'd take Les on holiday by the way...so I could throw fucking darts at his bell bottoms...
Hello Mr. Shaun Hutson
I am a danish man who have been reading your books since i was 13, and now at almost 40,i still enjoy your books immensly, you are partly responsible for me having english as my second language, well you and mr. Stephen King ;-), mostly because none or very few of your books has been translated into Danish, and like you write on your page, hear it straight from the horses mouth.
I just wanted to tell you how much i enjoy your writing, i do however have a particualar fondness for your horror books,as they are packed with gore and scary moments, as well as superb suspense building. I have been interested in horror ever since i saw the excorcist when i was 7 or 8 years old, it scared the crap out of me back then, still does to this day.
I have read most of your work, but have saved a few for a rainy day. I hope you and your family will have a good and safe christmas and a happy new year.
Keep making us fans thrilled about your work
Sincerely
Jimmi Hoejdal
I'm not surprised THE EXORCIST scared you if you saw it when you were 8, Jimmi....fucking hell...it scared me when I was 20 (and still does...). Glad you like my books. I think HEATHEN was published in Danish but I'm not sure...Your English is better than mine by the way...
Heya Shaun,
I have an idea that could make you a small fortune mate... but it needs yourself, Jeremy Clarkson, and Arthur Smith in a recording studio...
All it needs to be is an annual CD publication of the three of you, ranting arguing and discussing the things that piss you off. very much in the style of the Derek and Clive DVD produced by Peter Cook and Dudley Moore only there's was sketches and random humor.
Let's face it, we'd all find it hilarious, you'd get your points across, we'd all be agreeing with you, the press coverage would be monumental (in the Sun at least) and you'd be getting paid to do what you're doing for free on your website now.
I've even got the ironic title sorted for it... 'who gives a Sh*t what we think?!'
It might even earn you your own newspaper column ( yeah i know, as if you didn't find writing novels difficult enough!!)
just a thought... Have a good ridiculously over commercialized and stupidly early celebrated Christmas and New Year mate, hope to see you out on the road next year
Woody the baggies fan
Great idea Woody, trouble is, I'm not a celebrity so I couldn't do that. They'd get someone like Rory fat cunt McGrath instead because he's a football fan too...yeah, he's been to about three Arsenal matches you know...a real supporter...I seriously do think that this would work but no one in the world would pay me to do it...my agent would keep worrying about me upsetting someone and no newspaper would give me a column because I don't have tea with Chico every now and then....Maybe I should record something and see if the brilliant Mr Sayer could get it on the site...Hope you're well and look forward to seeing your boys back in the Premier League next season (if the mighty Reds get their fingers out, otherwise, you might pass us on the way up...)
No Shaun, we dont want you to change your style of rant!! we love you! I realy look forward to reading Shauns Shit!!! i love your honesty and you tell it like it is.People who are offended should............pig off and go buy jordens new ""book"".gay lords!!! Just want to say,i love all your books,i've read and still got every one! love love love them!!!!!! thanx
Shaun for keeping me entertained!!! :) xx
Melissa Hill
newcastle-under-lyme
Melissa, I'm flattered, honoured and any other word you can think of and don't worry, I'm not changing...Unfortunately, honesty is not the best policy in the publishing business but I'll keep going regardless...I am honestly touched by your concern...no, I am...I mean that...xx
Shaun, hello mate.
What the fuck was that? Were we having a ( Everyone Hates Me) day or did you just run out of bog roll? because what I just read on your site was not what many of the thousands of us were expecting. Every few weeks we all look forward to reading your rants, they are informative, they are funny, they are topical, they are concise and most of all they are honest, and if they do offend others then fuck em. Maybe we all thought that you were untouchable, thick skinned, unfazed, maybe we all took you for granted in waiting for you to entertain us, ( what the fuck do I know )? A few years ago Shaun Hutson was that guy who wrote a few fucking good books but because of Graeme Sayer and his wizardry we have all got to know YOU and not just your work. I think I can speak for thousands of others when I say that we all appreciate the hard work you put into writing your books to keep us fed, to give us that fix, besides spending countless hours answering our questions and comments, I really can't think of any other writer who cares so much about his fans ( friends ) in the way you do. Now look sunshine, if we all decided to turn up and throw you a party, we would all fill Anfield a hundred fucking times over just to see you. Billy Connolly has spent years of criticism from wankers who dislike what he says, but in your case I feel that it is the very same people that you have kept fat for many years that have decided to censor you. Maybe you can't call them money grabbing, short sighted, exploitive, greedy fat cunts, but I can. This next bit is not necessarily directed at you Shaun but to the many readers of this page. I want you all in your thousands to write or E-mail the publishers of Shauns books to demand that they re-publish and print all of his books that they in there wisdom decided to shelve and to demand that they answer your letters. Tell them how sick and tired you are of finding it almost impossible to find his books that you want. Hey,!!!! Let's get a petition going, I'll start it, just follow me. If the book shops tell you that there is no demand for Shauns books, kindly tell the stupid fuckwhits that if there are none of his books on the shelves then how the fuck can they promote them in the first place, if someone wants to read his books for the first time how the fuck can they buy one if the shelves are devoid of them. Write to all the buyers of the top book stores, tell them what you want, demand what you want. Ask yourselves this. How many Shaun Hutson books did you buy from new? How many did you buy second hand because the main book shops didn't stock them, (and Shaun didn't make a fucking penny from)? How many have you borrowed from friends or loaned to friends? If everybody owned the books that they read then Shaun would be as wealthy as J.K. fucking Rowling. It's not your fault, just the book shops. Come on people let's do it, these people don't realise that in this case, demand IS greater than supply.
Tell you what Shaun, I might even ask them to have the balls and publish your rants because I know that they will fly off the shelves by the millions. Keep ranting and raving, practice what you preach, don't change, for fucks sake don't do that, and no more rants like that last piece of shite, it's not big and it's not clever, you have been told. You've done your work mate, now let us do something in return and get your books back where they belong. When I become Prime Minister (and I will, it only takes common sense from the voters), I will make it compulsory for every home to have at least two pieces of your work, You're a good man Shaun, one of life's nice people, see you next time around mate.
Keep well and happy, Lawrence.
Lawrence, you must have been so pissed when you wrote all these fucking e-mails...I really do appreciate your kind words though and if you and thousands of others would like to e-mail my publishers then that would be amazing...go on, if a few thousand people could keep that insipid little cunt Joe Mcelderry off the number one spot by protesting on Facebook then you lot have a go too....of course, I didn't know anything about it right, guv...
*** Right, hold on, I'm going to stop here for a minute because I'm quite touched
by you lot worrying about me going soft and changing etc. etc. no, scratch that, I'm very
touched....I knew you guys were different fucking class but this is something else...sorry for
the moment of sentimentality but I had to say that...In fact, I'll probably say it again later...***
Right, back to the questions..
Very cool, Shaun. I just turned in my edited version of the novel, so I'm hoping to have an ARC in the next few months. If you'd like, I'd be happy to send you a copy. I'm assuming I should send it to your publisher's address listed on the website, but please let me know if you'd like me to send it somewhere else.
And after reading through my initial email, I realized that I was quite drunk when I wrote it, so many thanks for suffering through my rambling.
Best,
Jeff
Nothing wrong with being drunk, Jeff...I wish I was...what the fuck is an ARC?...whatever it is I'd like one...
Ha ha, very good, but the new style is too much of a departure for Joe 'Pubic' (the term Joe 'Pubic' obviously doesn't include us readers - who on the whole are well grounded and ’intelligent - well, we must be because we're rock fans !) as most’of the 'Pop Factor' generation’would struggle with the actual concept of sarcasm these days. (Mind you, most folk would struggle with anything longer than a sentence, unless it was a custodial one.)
Regards
Lee.
Thanks, Lee, glad you enjoyed my completely transparent sarcasm...I love that last joke, I might nick that...all the best...
WTF??? Where's the real Shaun gone? Bring him back, we miss his usual rants.
Don't let the f*ckers stop you expressing your honest opinion! It gives us a really good laugh and a lot of it is just what we say too! If people don't like your usual stuff then they shouldnt read it! Bunch of n*bs!!!
Lisa Hird
Don't worry, Lisa, I'm still here...read the new rant and see what you think...
Hi again Shaun,
If I may, I'd like to remind you of the reason behind my 'You don't half talk ... ' comment. (I'm not surprised you don't recall; it was about 20 years ago!)
It was a response to an article you did for 'Fear' magazine. You stated Iron Maiden were the biggest band on the planet; I was a bit miffed as I happen to be a Queen fan ... and I was suffering from depression at the time. Anyway, I put pen to paper - remember those days? - and sent off my letter of disagreement. I was surprised when I received a reply; not only that, you were rather nice and polite. (I promise not to tell anyone.) In your reply you also recommended an album you were listening to at the time; 'Operation:Mindcrime' by Queensr~che. Intrigued, I bought the album and - AWESOME! (I have all their albums now; none quite match the brilliance of 'Mindcrime' but lots of songs since that have shone.)
We exchanged a few more letters - around half a dozen or so - until depression got so bad I stopped reading for the best part of two years; pretty much stopped interacting with the rest of the world, to tell the truth.
So, I have half a dozen hand-typed, autographed letters from your good self. Many thanks for taking the time to do that. The icing on the cake, though? We were both drummers!
Last word from me about Jedward; I think these two boys saw the fame, glamour and celebrity but had no idea about the work, promotion, photo shoots, travel, hangers-on, false friends and all the negative things about 'fame'. I could be wrong, maybe fame IS as glamourous as it looks ... but I really hope they get out alive.
I loved your latest rant; if I were to rant I'd be ranting about politicians - and it'd be a long bloody rant! ('Rant' ... sounds weird when said so many times in one sentence!)
Finally, I'd also like to say 'Thanks!' for inspiring me to write. When I had a prolonged spell free of depression I wrote about 15 pieces of prose; horror stories, SF and some comedic pieces. There was also a rather saccharine story about Christmas I wrote for my mother when she was ill. She didn't get to read it.
I hope I haven't rambled too much. Thanks for your time.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you and your family.
Jim McArthur
Jim, I remember the letter and our subsequent exchanges I just forgot it was my Maiden comment that started it off...Both rock fans, both drummers and, hey, both depressed...I've been manic depressive for years but for about the last four it's just been depression...but, what the hell, no one wants to hear about that and I'm not here for that. I just wanted to let you know that I know how you feel....(sorry, sounded a bit caring there for a second but in a sort of "Shaun's become a pussy" way...) I agree that Queensryche never scaled the heights like they did with Mindcrime but they were still fucking superb. As far as Jedward and all these other fucking wannabes I just think if they get chewed up and spat out then so what? They'll make some money that they don't deserve so fuck them...You're right, the word rant does look weird used too many times...unlike the word fuck or cunt which looks great used hundreds of times in quick succession...and no, you haven't rambled...and I should know...all the best, Jim..
Howdo Shaun
I trust Christmas was a good one for you and yours. Two questions, if I may. One is a typical collector's anorak question the second is more of a rant / plea:
1) The anorak question: I have 2 copies of the Star 1984 Terminator paperback. Both are identical except one has SHAUN HUTSON on the spine and has 2 blank end papers. The other doesn't have SHAUN HUTSON on the spine and has adverts from the publisher to buy books on the last end papers. The copyright page, price, etc, is the same for both. Which is the true first printing?
2) The rant / plea: I read your comments about why you don't do signings any more and I have to say with all the nobs you have encountered over the years I can't blame you. However I assume you have met far more fans, which made it worthwhile or you wouldn't have done them for so long before giving up. As a collector and fan since pretty much the beginning - I was 13 when I bought the Star paperback of Slugs and got bollocked off my English teacher for not reading 'proper' fiction like Bronte - it is frustrating to me and the boat load of fans out there like me who will now never get the chance to get their collections signed. I always found the ticketed events worked well: the prats on the street can't just wander in and insult you, and they won't shell out for a ticket. You used to do Milton Keynes and Birmingham: can't you consider one of those again for your next book? Please don't suggest I to write to your agent at this point because he can never be arsed replying to anything...I'd appreciate an opinion from you personally whether you'd be willing.
Hope this e mail doesn't take up too much space.
Cheers
Paul Evans
To be honest, Paul, with the copies of Terminator, I haven't got a clue which one is the first printing. I've got a couple at home where my name is bigger on the cover but that's about it. Sorry I can't be more help. Where the hell did you get them? Stopping the signings is nothing to do with some of the things I mentioned, trust me. For every twat there are a hundred wonderful people and a bit of banter would never put me off. If bookshops don't request me or the publishers don't support the requests then there's nothing I can do I'm afraid. I loved doing Birmingham and I get a tremendous amount of pleasure from meeting my readers. I have to admit that some of it is down to me in as much as I've been suffering with very bad depression for a couple of years now and I have no intention of inflicting that on a paying audience who've come along for a good night of entertainment so some of it is my fault and I apologise for that. Hopefully things will change but I wouldn't hold your breath. I wish, as much as you, that things could be like they were...
shaun
just read yer latest book what can i say fucking awesome !!! but why a whole year til the next one come on we need two books a year and lots more violence
thanks
scaniaman
Sorry you have to wait a year...but that's how it works...next one is out in October...glad you liked the latest one though...