I was trying to come up with a clever intellectual title for this page but then thought bollocks, if people wanted clever intellectual stuff they'd be reading Bret Easton Ellis (I don't fucking think...)
Anyway, this is me speaking to you, direct (well, sort of).
Want to ask me something? Click here.
Hello again, folks...
First off, I'd like to thank everyone who came to see me in Birmingham. I hope you enjoyed yourselves as much as I did. I really do appreciate people coming to see me/listen to me. I hope none of you were disappointed...
Thanks also to all the people who, as ever, wrote into the site just to tell me how much they enjoy my books. I don't think any of you realize how much that means to me. It's nice to know that the hours spent in my office aren't wasted. After all, your opinions, in the end are the only ones I care about and if I can carry on giving you all a good time for your money then that's great... Thanks again particularly to Suzi Oliver, to Claire, to Ian Lowry, Jamie Klein, Andrea, Charly, Lisa, Mandy Watson, Jules from Bristol, Marianne, Veronica, Marie and everyone else who wrote in this time just to say how much they loved the books
Right, the questions (or should that be the answers...)
Dan, (the Blackburn fan)
By the time you read this, Dan, we'll have played you so, if you've beaten us, feel free to take the piss... I'll be in the Upper Darwens Stand, 3 rows from the front for £28... Mind you, that's pretty reasonable these days. I paid £30 for my Everton ticket the other week. Still, it was worth it for the result... It will probably come as no surprise to you, Dan to realize that I also hate Souness. Mind you, Duff was living off four half-decent games in the World Cup and Dunn going to Birmingham is hardly a giant step up is it? But, I see your point...
Anyway, onto films... Glad you enjoyed AUDITION and agree with me about Miike Takashi. Have a look at ICHI THE KILLER and DEAD OR ALIVE as well, it should confirm what I already said about his incredible talent. CITY OF LOST SOULS is on my birthday list..
Hello to Charlie...
Thanking me and Metallica for getting you through your teenage angst years... I'm flattered and in very good company. Sorry about your English teacher questioning your reading
habits when you were at school (i.e. my books...) I once did a TV show with a headmaster in the audience who was horrified to discover I'd actually spoken to classes of kids about writing...
I tell you what, if you're now a teacher, you know all about fear... Facing a class fulls of kids... A piece of cake compared to the horrors in my books.
Thanks Charlie..
Marc wanted to know if I'm going to see Iron Maiden on the upcoming tour...
Yes, Marc, I am. Probably at Earl's Court. You also asked what I think of Evanescence. I think they're great. I reckon Fallen is a superb album.
To Tony D. and all the other aspiring (or perspiring) writers out there I say the same thing as ever...
Don't give up.
Get yourself an agent.
Write what you want to write, don't try and follow any
trends.
Good luck to you all
Will wanted to know about graphic novels...
If I did one, Will, it would probably be ASSASSIN... About 12 years ago, I was actually commissioned to adapt it but it never
came off
Alistair....
I love the idea for Slugs 3... You're right, it's all completely original... In Slugs 4 a superhuman female slug could
return to wipe out lettuce supplies worldwide... What do you think..
To Jamie Klein...
Glad you like my books. I thought TERMINATOR 3 was pretty poor. Arnie is becoming a parody of himself... The quicker he becomes a senator the better, eh?...
Thankyou to all of you who praised HYBRID. As you may know, I wasn't quite sure what I'd got on my hands when I finished it and it's reassuring to know that the vast majority of you liked it.
Many of you also continually ask me about Sean Doyle... Will there be another Doyle novel?
I don't honestly know. At the moment, the old bastard is still out of work, getting more irritable by the day, wondering what the fuck he's going to do with what passes for his life...
Seriously though, I will use Doyle again if I can find the right novel for him. I fancy dropping him into the middle of an out and out horror book (Maybe Slugs 3...)
On which point, I have a question for you lot..
WHO WOULD BE INTERESTED IN ME DOING SLUGS 3...?
Any takers....? Let me know.
If it ever happens, and it's a big if, it wouldn't be for another couple of years or more as NECESSARY EVIL is out next year and I start work on the novel for 2005 after Xmas.
I'm just curious..
To Lisa McQuillan...
Good to hear from you again, Lisa. Thanks too for coming to see me in Birmingham. I know your name's on the "deathlist", I just wish you'd made yourself more obvious (unless you did and my
memory is just more fucked than I thought it was...) then you could have, rightly, taken me to task more fully over HYBRID demonising the IRA.
I'm glad you found me funnier than you thought I'd be (I suppose, considering the nature of the books you could have been forgiven for expecting a miserable twat...)
What I actually said about "literature", was me not being a literary writer in the sense that I don't do literary lunches and all that crap. I never get invited for a start off - As I said at the talk, I just have nothing in common with most writers (most, er, make that ANY...) I love my work but the business side of the business is far more important and interesting to me than
the back slapping, air kissing "lovey" side. I think you realized that.
You wanted my opinions on some films;
MURDER IN THE FIRST... Good performances from Gary Oldman and Kevin Bacon. Well made.
STIR OF ECHOES... Hugely superior to the massively overrated SIXTH SENSE. Kevin Bacon excellent again (do I detect
a trend here...?) A very good film that received none of the attention it deserved.
IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER... Daniel Day Lewis was superb. I just reckon that the director was a little close to the
material. The same thing happened with Spike Lee on MALCOLM X.
Films I'd recommend to you at the moment;
THE 25TH HOUR (still in cinemas I think)
NARC (out on vid and DVD) One of my films of the year.
DARK BLUE (Kurt Russell cop thriller set against the backdrop of the Rodney King trial.) Another of my films of the year.
IDENTITY (good thriller)
And, believe it or not, CALENDAR GIRLS... (fuck, there goes my reputation...) No, seriously, a really well made, beautifully
acted picture. I laughed, I cried. Give it a go.
And, of course, and I'm sure you've seen it, the awesome, majestic JACKASS; THE MOVIE...
Thanks again for the interest, Lisa, and thanks for coming to Birmingham. I'll see you again next year I hope, when NECESSARY EVIL comes out in hardback...
Steve from the band Granger's Farmyard...
Steve, send the CD to me via my publishers, Warner Books,
the address is on the inside of my books. It'll get to me.
And yes, you more than likely did see me walking into The Town and Country Club to see Queensryche on their Mindcrime tour.
I've had the pleasure of seeing them every time they've been over
here..
Lisa Hillier wrote to say how much she enjoyed my talk...
Thanks Lisa. You say you could have listened to me all night... It probably just felt as if you were... Thanks for coming down
Sue Oliver wanted to know if I was in JACKASS, what would I do...
Believe it or not, Sue, my little girl asked me the same thing the other day... Well, I wouldn't tightrope walk across a
pit of alligators... Fire rockets out of my arse, get kids to kick me in the nuts, throw up then cook the vomit as an omelette etc. etc... I'm such a gutless bastard, I'd probably end up joining
Party Boy (I can't dance either...) or, maybe, have a go at one of the skateboard or bike stunts (having said that I am no Bam Margera...) Failing that, I might have a go at inserting something up my backside (as Ryan Dunn did in the film...) but it would have to be nothing more than Nicole Kidman's finger... Sorry.
I'm glad you enjoyed the talk. Sorry you found the "cat scene" in COMPULSION disgusting but, well, shit happens. I don't hate dogs by the way, I'm terrified of the bloody things. I do, however, hate cats, especially the one that keeps shitting on my back lawn... There's nothing worse than playing football, getting shaped to drive a thunderous volley goalwards and connecting with a cat turd...
Thanks also to everyone who listened to me on THE JAMES WHALE SHOW the other week (month?)... I know I didn't get as long as usual, which was a pain but James is a sod when he gets going on a topic like the first one that people were calling in about. He's a good bloke though, I'll let him off. Apologies though to all of you who sat up to such an unGodly hour of the morning to hear my ramblings.
Nice to hear that some of you wanted to read my stuff after hearing me, or, that some of you first got into my books after hearing me on his show before...
I remember doing one of his TV shows years ago in Leeds when Jerry Sadowitz (very funny Scottish comic) was threatened with death by the Tommy Cooper Appreciation Society for making a joke about Tommy Cooper dying on stage...
I was also there the time Jim Bowen (of BULLSEYE fame on TV), said "cunt" live on the air, thinking we were in a commercial break... Ah, happy days...
Anyway... on we go..
Matthew Austin asked for a signed photo..
Sorry Matthew, I haven't had a photo session since about 1998 (no, that fucking picture on the back flap of HELL TO PAY is not how I look now... Honest... I look worse...)
Warners keep on at me to have some new ones done but I think it's better if I remain anonymous..
Someone asked me what I thought was the greatest death scene in any English speaking movie...
Bloody hell, that's a hard one... There are so many...
The mantrap in STRAW DOGS
The end of THE WILD BUNCH
I mean, are we talking amounts of blood? or ingenuity here...
Er... Anything from a Peckinpah movie... Oh, just remembered...
The head in the vice in CASINO
The bottling in THE LONG GOOD FRIDAY
I honestly couldn't pin down one. To paraphrase Gene Wilder in BLAZING SADDLES, "I must have seen more men killed than Cecil B. De Mille..."
Let me have a think about it
Jimmy wanted to know why I was expelled from school...
Nothing horrific I'm afraid, Jimmy. It wasn't for shagging the geography teacher (I wish...), setting fire to the maths teacher (I wish...) or being involved with a goat and my English teacher (Ah, if only... the teacher I mean, not the fucking goat..)
It wasn't even for making a batch of home-made napalm in chemistry (only kidding... Honest...)
My school was pretty tough, I must admit (the school newspaper had an obituary column... ha, ha...) but myself and my mates all came through it in one piece, physically if not mentally... A load of us played football this June and hammered the school team from the same year we'd been in. We're due to play again in October. Yours truly is left back (no, not in the fucking dressing room before anyone chips in with that one...)
AND I'M TELLING YOU NOW, THE CHALLENGE THAT NEARLY HOSPITALIZED
THE OPPOSITIONS RIGHT WINGER WAS A 50-50 BALL... Oops, sorry...
I was expelled for a number of small petty reasons, Jimmy. Nicking money from the school tuck shop (gasp), rigging 6th form elections (wow), hitting some kid on the head with a kettle lead (ooohhh) and cumulative things like that - Sorry to disappoint
you..
Jane Thornton wanted to know if there'll be a sequel to DEATHDAY...
Jane, no. Sorry but it's unlikely. Mind you, I'm glad your husband enjoyed the first one
Lee Webster, I would just like to thank for his comments and I hope you've got your signed book by now, mate
Right, that's it for another month (or two)... I'm off to deliver my new novel NECESSARY EVIL (which contains scenes of Middle Eastern Terrorists on the loose in London) on the anniversary of 9/11... Ain't life weird...
You all watch your backs until next time...
Hello again, you lot. Time for more answers and comments from yours truly...
Just one thing before I get started, I've said it before but I'll say it again, don't forget that the questions you send in don't go directly to me. They reach the site first and are then passed on to me by Graeme (who runs it). So, if there's a delay in you getting an answer sorry but that's how it works... But all the questions get to me eventually.
Right..
I just want to say a general thankyou to everyone who drops in short messages just to say how much they enjoy the books and the stuff on the site. Very much appreciated
Now, to more specific stuff..
Mr Spenny Goff of Portsmouth...
Yes, feel free to do your talk about me. You won't be charged..
Apologies to Sue P. who thought the Steven Seagal EXIT WOUNDS might be something to do with my book..
No such luck, Sue. You asked if any of my books will be made into films... Er... Well, your guess is as good as mine. I can only hope... Having had the misfortune of sitting through JEEPERS CREEPERS 2 this week, I continue to wonder just what the fuck I've got to write to get someone interested..
Chris Hill wanted to know why I support Liverpool if I was born in Hertfordshire..
Why do birds fly south for the winter, Chris? Nature moves in mysterious ways... Why do some kids in Devon support Man. Utd.? Why do some cockneys walk around in Celtic shirts? Because they're twats? Because they're glory hunters..?
I support Liverpool because I saw them on TV when I was about ten and wanted to support them. The difference with me, compared to most Southern based Manc fans is that I actually go to Liverpool matches (home and away) as I'm a season ticket holder and a true fan and not merely a glory hunting wanker... I hope that answers your question..
Mal from Birkenhead asked about the Kessler books...
Mal, I'm afraid there won't be anymore of those (as far as I know). I actually wrote eleven, originally under my own name so, keep checking the old car boot sales, you never know what might turn up..
Matt Ware asked who I'd like to see play Doyle in a film..
Matt, ANYONE as long as they film it... But seriously... I always used to say Gary Oldman as he was in the film STATE OF GRACE. I'm sure he could still play him now but a younger Doyle... Maybe someone like Colin Farrell
Someone called Simon asked why the site was only updated on a quarterly basis..
Because I'm very busy Simon and the guys that run it are even busier, basically... We try our best. Also, to be honest, not that much happens on a day to day basis. I write, it gets published, you lot read it... And another year rolls by..
Steven wanted to know about signed books..
Steve, have a look at the FAQ page and all the info you need should be there. I don't do signed photos anymore, in fact, I wasn't too happy that my publishers put an old picture of me on the back flap of HELL TO PAY. I was very ill that day... That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it..
Claire, (who sounds very sexy I might add, sorry about that...) said some very nice things about PURITY and LUCY'S CHILD and some uncomplimentary things about my female characters clothes..
Sorry, Claire, if I'm still dressing my girls in leggings and T-shirts I apologise... I didn't even think I was... Surely that was in the older books wasn't it... What do you recommend? I seem to have a thing for tight jeans too if I remember rightly... Right, come on then, clothing suggestions for future female characters (rubber doesn't count by the way...)
As for making LUCY'S CHILD into a film, well, I've written a script myself and I must admit, I can see Kiera Knightly (the young actress currently on view in PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN) as a perfect Lucy. Nicole Kidman as Beth and Cameron Diaz as Karen Gregson. Now, is that inspired casting or one of my fantasies come true...
Anyone have any ideas for casting? Any book? Let me know..
Dan noticed my liking for Takashi Miike..
Thanks for recommending Princess Blade, Dan. I'm trying to track it down at the moment. While we're on the subject, not of Japanese films but of foreign films in general, have you seen BAISE MOI (French, obviously...) Jesus... How the fuck that film ever got a certificate I don't know... Very good but Christ is it raw... Also IRREVERSIBLE... A bit arty but still incredibly strong stuff and very clever..
Garry, a Chelsea fan... (or is that Chelski...) Greetings comrade..
Sorry to hear your car was robbed while you were at Anfield last season. There's a guy who sits behind me at Anfield and, every time the announcer mentions the owner of a car contacting the police he always says 'Contact a steward as there's a fucking big hole where your radio used to be...' Well, it makes me chuckle... If you go this season, I hope you have a better trip... I mean you personally by the way... I hope your team have their usual miserable time...
Glad you like the books though. Thanks
I'd just like to say how nice it is that so many of you who write support other football teams as with Garry above... Nice to see the hatred is confined to the pitch, eh, folks..? I've had mails from Man. Utd. fans, Newcastle, Birmingham, Chelsea, Spurs, Everton, Arsenal, Coventry and God knows who else. Thanks to all of you. And that includes Susan Lee (a Man. Utd. fan) and Gary (a Spurs fan)..
Which brings me neatly to Dean Burbury (Sky blue army)
Dean, you mentioned The James Whale show on Talk Radio (or Talksport as it is now). I'm doing that again on August 21st so keep your ears open if you're near a radio...
On the question of pseudonymns and why I used/use them...
It's for the sake of publishers and booksellers really. They like to pigeon-hole writers and I prefer to be pigeon-holed in horror or thriller.
By the way, if there are other questions you want answering then please mail them in. I don't mind what you ask and no, I won't think you're a boring fucker...
Sorry about the coppery odour of blood by the way... Just call it a trademark...
You asked if Sean Doyle is based on someone I know. Well, alot of him is me (or inside me at any rate...) And yes, he also appears in RENEGADES, KNIFE EDGE and HYBRID.
Send in anymore questions you want answered. I don't mind, honestly..
Someone wanted to know what age I started writing..
Eighteen. First book published when I was 21, by the way, it's never too late to start writing and my advice is, if you want to write a book then do it... There's no magic formula, no age limit. A pen, a piece of paper and off you go..
Scott Rowbotham wrote with a warning..
Right, Scott, I'll be ready for your question... (you bastard... I don't expect to have to think when I'm doing talks...) Which 5 people, living or dead would I invite to a dinner party, eh..?
Craig from Cheltenham asked me how I think Liverpool will do this season..
To be honest, Craig, I haven't thought about it too much. One of my best friends is, like yourself, an Arsenal fan. When Liverpool play your lot at Highbury, I always sit with him amongst the gooners (with my mouth shut for 90 minutes...) And he does the same when he sits next to me, among the Liverpool fans, at Anfield when you come to us... I think there's a certain affinity between Liverpool and Arsenal because of the Houllier/Wenger friendship, the fact that we both hate the fucking Mancs and Wenger pisses Ferguson off by his very prescence... What a good man...
You thought that your own taste in music was dated... Er... Having just switched off IRON MAIDEN'S album SOMEWHERE IN TIME (1986), join the club... I also found an old tape in my car the other day that I'd made of Saxon years ago and drove along singing along to THE POWER AND THE GLORY so, we're both out of date, Craig. And who fucking cares...
Best of luck with your own writing and enjoy the coming season..
Wayne Pearson wrote in as a new fan..
Welcome aboard, Wayne... Nice to know your fiance likes my stuff too.
The next one out as you probably know is HELL TO PAY (in hardback), I'm still fiddling around with next year's offering which is called NECESSARY EVIL and I've got ideas floating around for the one after that which won't see the light of day until August 2005...I hope you enjoy all my books as much as DEADHEAD and CAPTIVES...
Yes I did write a book called THE TERMINATOR. It was the novelization of the Schwarzenegger (I'm sure I've spelt that wrong...) but is now out of print I'm afraid..
And finally to Margaret Riordan in New Zealand..
Just out of interest, Margaret, I've got an uncle who lives in Christchurch... Is that anywhere near you? But anyway, glad you like the books and I hope you can continue to get them..
Right, that's that for another month. I'm off on a promotional tour on Sunday through to next Friday. Keep your ears open for me on THE JAMES WHALE SHOW on TALKSPORT on August 21st at 11 p.m. onwards. Call in if you want to talk to me. And no doubt I'll see some of you in Birmingham on the 20th. I'm also stock signing in parts of Essex, Wolverhampton, Coventry and a few other places including Leeds, maybe Manchester and Liverpool but I don't know when. But, you might be able to find signed copies although most bookshop staff will probably just shrug their shoulders and look blank if you ask them... Still, it can't hurt to ask... Until next time, all of you look after yourselves...
Right, here we go again... Some unusual questions this time (thanks for that, folks)... Sorry if I've taken longer than usual answering;
David Bland asked about research..
Depends on the complexity of the book, Dave. Simple as that. Sometimes it can be as simple as a phone call, as with next years book, even though some of the calls must sound a bit bizarre from the other end. For instance, I called London Transport to find out if it would be possible for a hijacked tube train to be stopped automatically... Needless to say, the bloke on the other end was a bit concerned... Still...
Otherwise, it's a trip to the library or the bookshop. Sometimes stuff needs a little more "in-depth" investigation. (CAPTIVES, LUCY'S CHILD, DEADHEAD, EXIT WOUNDS, RENEGADES for instance) Usually this involves wandering around various locations just observing basically. Sometimes talking to people. Also, I seem, over the years, to have accumulated a
few... er... dodgy... friends in various places who sometimes supply me with info on things not always found in books.
As for the medical knowledge, it usually comes from a book. All the research is done before the book is started
Mike Done wanted to know about getting published..
Mike, I wish to God I could tell you a way, mate. My main advice is don't write the entire novel (well, not again, anyway). Publishers or agents will make a decision on the strength of the first couple of chapters and a synopsis.
My first novel had 40 rejections in the space of two or three years. It took about 10 rejections to find an agent. The thing is, even now, agents won't always take on established authors let alone unpublished ones. The business is tough and its getting tougher, I'm afraid but stick at it and I wish you all the luck in the world (even though you are a Man. Utd. follower...)
Greg Hurlstone wanted to know about signed copies..
Greg, I've got a question for you... Are you the same Greg Hurlstone who was involved with a video thing called NAILBITER many moons ago? (and no, you don't owe me money...)
If you get in touch with Sandra Morgan at Waterstones in Birmingham, she will be able to help you with the signed copies..
Tina from Lincoln asked about a COMPULSION 2..
No chance, I think is the technical term, Tina. One or two of my books might have left themselves open to sequels but COMPULSION was never one of them. But thanks for asking and I'm glad you enjoyed it
Ryan M. McGuinness wanted to know about my novels being made into PS2 games...
Not as far as I know, Ryan. Unfortunately. What would you fancy? RENEGADES first person shoot-em-up with the player as Sean Doyle... Sequel to EREBUS... No. Slugs the movie worse than the S CLUB 7 movie... (well, alright, Rachel looked better than the spanners in SLUGS, I'll give you that...) Take care, mate
Angi from Glasgow..
Your questions...
Who would I sign for Liverpool and why?
Harry Kewell (which we have) because he's excellent. I'd also sign Xavier Zanetti the Argentine left back who plays for Inter Milan because I think he is a superb player. Other than that I think we've got a very strong squad anyway.
My favourite actors and actresses.
Brad Pitt is very good. Colin Farrell too. My all time favourite ::as the long deceased Warren Oates (BRING ME THE HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA, RACE WITH THE DEVIL, THE WILD BUNCH...) also Robert de Niro, Al Pacino and, in his day, Brando. Jack Nicholson is also always worth watching I think. Denzel Washington and Morgan Freeman I also think are superb and manage to rise above some of the shite they've been in. I also think that Oliver Platt (FLATLINERS, LAKE PLACID, EXECUTIVE DECISION) is a wonderful actor. Tom Sizemore is excellent. So is Joaquin Phoenix. Robert Duvall. Viggo Mortensen. Hugh Jackman. Benicio Del Torro.
As for actresses, Michelle Pfeiffer, Nicole Kidman, Cameron Diaz, Cate Blanchett and, I still rate Bridget Fonda. All gorgeous but incredibly versatile. Jennifer Jason Leigh and Juliette Lewis have a wonderfully unpredictable edge.
If I was in a film I'd like to be an X-MAN. I'd be Wolverine's half brother, ferret...
If I was re-incarnated I'd like to come back as me... I like who I am (but I would like JK Rowling's bank balance too...) Failing that, I'd like to come back as Napoleon (but without the piles...)
Or, possibly, as Woody Allen once said, as Warren Beatty's fingers...
Or, failing that, one of Cameron Diaz thongs... I'm easily pleased..
Ken B wrote to congratulate me on the realism of my work..
Thanks Ken, very much appreciated. I agree with you that not too many writers are brave (or stupid) enough, to want to show life as it is. Including the nasty bits. I just can't write any other way I'm afraid. I'm glad you and so many others enjoy the style. Thanks again
Claire Robinson wanted to know if EREBUS had anything to do with flesh eating..
Have no fear, Claire, it's only about blood drinking. Go and read it immediately and let me know what you think...
Stacey Blackwood said how much she enjoyed SHAUN'S SHIT..
Thanks, Stacey. I'm glad you enjoy the books and the rants and I reckon you should come and see me in Birmingham on August 20th..
Gordon from the States wanted to know about U.S. publication
Well, Gordon, as we speak, my books are being considered by four U.S. publishers and SLUGS, BREEDING GROUND, EREBUS, THE SKULL and HEATHEN were all actually published in the the States a few years back.
I'm not sure whether the actual content of the some of the books (child molesting, extreme violence etc.) has been the problem it's just that some of my stuff is very ENGLISH (and I don't mean tea parties and walks on Hampstead Heath...).
American publishers just buy very little British fiction, it's as simple as that. Still, I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
By the way, glad you agree with me about BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE..
Lisa McQuillan wrote about HYBRID and Lisa I am hereby apologising..
I listen to, and respect, any of my readers opinions and views on my books but when someone is as close to things as you've been, living in Northern Ireland up to a year ago, then I'm even more bothered by something they've got to say. My views on the situation in Northern Ireland (expressed by various characters in RENEGADES, WHITE GHOST, KNIFE EDGE and HYBRID), I thought, have always been without bias. I never set out to make political statements or judgements. If I appeared to "demonise" the IRA in HYBRID then I can only apologise. It was not my intention and, as far as I was aware, while I was writing it, that was never the case
Far from finding your comments offensive, I can only thank you for your point of view but, as I said, I'm sorry you read it that way because that wasn't how it was intended.
Still, I'm glad you enjoy my books. I look forward to hearing what you think of HELL TO PAY..
Ricky Rose asked if there was any chance of resurrecting Nick Ryan from DEADHEAD..
Not unless they dig him up, Nicky... Teaming him up with Doyle, eh? My God, they'd spend so much time kicking the shit out of each other they'd never get any work done..
I want to say hello to Dave and Janice Kershaw..
Dave, I'm glad that my books helped in some small way and I send my very best to your wife, Janice (Get her away from bloody Mills and Boon will you...)
Sarah made the mistake of reading SPAWN whilst pregnant..
Oops... Apologies for making the morning sickness worse... Sorry your friend didn't like the 'cat scene' in COMPULSION... Please tell her that no animals were injured during the writing of that book... Anyway, I hope the baby is fine. Don't have a go at me, when you're a mum, after you've read STOLEN ANGELS... (you'll find out why...)
A few people have mentioned my appearance at Birmingham in August, including Scott Rowbotham (hello again..) and some other regulars. I look forward to seeing you all, though Christ knows what I'm going to talk about. Not much happens from year to year really (write a book, watch football, watch films, eat, sleep-that's about it...) but I'll do my best... And don't worry about how many books you bring, I'll sign everything put in front of me..
Which brings me to Jadeane..
I'd be delighted to sign any part of your anatomy for you if we ever meet... A girl once asked me to sign her boobs believe it or not (the signature was a little shaky...) Someone asked for my nail clippings once... (yeah, well, whatever takes your fancy...) So, Jadeane, thanks for your kind comments and let me know when you want 'signing'..
To Lisa Tuckey..
Thank your brother for recommending my books to you. Get reading, you've got a few to catch up with..
Claire asked if I'd read THE TOMB by F. PAUL WILSON..
I've got it but never read it... I read THE KEEP by the same author and thought it was superb. The film based on it wasn't so great though. I saw an American copy of the book lying around in Waterstones in Piccadilly a few weeks back..
Clare Summers has just finished reading 22 books back to back.
Clare, a Metallica and Liverpool fan too, and buying all my books at one go. I think I'm in love...
Many thanks. I'm glad you're enjoying them and looking forward to HELL TO PAY. I hope you like it.
Will I be writing anymore books with Sean Doyle in?
What is it about this guy..? I've never had so much interest around one single character. It still amazes me, I must admit. And delights me to.
I don't know if old Sean has hung up his Desert Eagle and his cowboy boots once and for all. Only time will tell. If it's any consolation, there's a character who's quite similar to him in my new book due out next August. The book's called NECESSARY EVIL and the character is called Matt Franklin. There are quite a few similarities.
As for Doyle himself... Only time will tell..
Hannah reckons my books are getting better..
Thanks, Hannah. I appreciate it. I hope so. I'm not sure if the style has changed that much over the years but I'd like to think I'm a better writer. Glad you enjoy SHAUN'S SHIT on the
site. Hope you enjoy HELL TO PAY as much as all the others.
Simon Oates asked if there'll be anymore SLEDGEHAMMER books.
Unlikely, Simon. But, you never know. My new agent is trying to sell foreign rights so they might crop up somewhere. As for my own work, the urban violence thing is sort of my own now but I'm sure that, in the very near future, there will be a dyed in the wool, old fashioned, scare the shit out of you Shaun Hutson type novel on the way (probably about 2005...). I've got thoughts whirling about at the moment for a return to that kind of book but I won't start considering it until early next year..
Nick from the Wigan area..
You can get yourself a signed copy from my publishers or by contacting Sandra Morgan at Waterstones in Birmingham..
Just like to say I agree with Dan (the Blackburn fan) about DOG SOLDIERS..
Thoroughly enjoyed it. As for other horror offerings at the pictures... GHOST SHIP... Forget it... DARKNESS FALLS... How the fuck do they get away with it... THE RING (US Remake)... Er... Well... Yawn...
I'm heavily into a Japanese director called Miike Takashi. The guy is a genius and, in my humble opinion, one of the most original and exciting talents in world cinema. Please, please check out on video or DVD the following films of his; AUDITION, DEAD OR ALIVE and ICHI THE KILLER. I honestly think that he is the only director who could do justice to my own books. Mind you, I wouldn't mind if David Fincher decided to have a go..
Martin Simmonds wanted to know if HYBRID is autobiographical..
What do you think Martin..
John wanted to know if the Hip Sing and Tai Hung Chai Triads featured in WHITE GHOST actually exist..
Yes, John they do. All the Triad groups mentioned in the book are real, as is their structure, the names of their hierarchy figures and the way they work
Matt Crammond wanted to know my favourite Iron Maiden album..
A tricky one, Matt... I love FEAR OF THE DARK. Also SOMEWHERE IN TIME. BRAVE NEW WORLD is also a superb album. And, of course, THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST. I can't pick one. I just
wish the hairy buggers would do "Alexander the Great" (from SOMEWHERE IN TIME) live... just once... Apparently, I'm not the only fan who's asked for that.
Yes, I've heard of CANNIBAL CORPSE. I've got two of their albums, a mate who worked at a radio station sent them to me. I wonder why an album called ENTRAILS RIPPED FROM A VIRGIN'S CUNT should be banned from Radio One?... Funny old world isn't it..
Right, that's your lot for another month or two. Keep the questions coming. Let me know what you think of HELL TO PAY and look after yourselves...
Hello, folks, I'm back again with more answers to your questions
An interesting message from Katie...
23 years old and six feet tall... I want pictures, Katie, not messages... Just kidding (well, I'm not really)... You'll find a list of EVERYTHING I've ever written on the site. Sorry I couldn't send you one personally..
Thanks for Kevin Ryan from the U.S. who asked, among other things, if I was as famous in England for horror as Stephen King is in America...
The short answer would be no, Kevin... Horror doesn't have much of a name in the publishing business, despite the millions of people who love reading it. Mind you, very few authors these days actually like being called HORROR writers. Everyone else seems to be... ahem... "fantasists" or... er... "chiller" writers. No, I don't know what the fuck that means either. The only one who never seemed to mind being called a horror author was Richard Laymon and the poor sod's dead now...
I know many of mine could easily be called thrillers but people can call me what they like... Usually words spelt with four letters I've found..
On a similar note, thanks to Iona for her message
I must just say again though, folks, that all messages come to me via the site so don't get the hump if you don't get a reply straight to your computer. Anyway, I'm fucking useless with technology and it's only thanks to Graeme that my replies reach you via the site. I can't even send text messages (yeah, right stop bloody laughing...)
I really hate communicating any other way than face to face (come to think of it, I hate communicating... just kidding...) I'm not even that struck on the phone but, it saves opening your windows and shouting I suppose... I'm a luddite, what can I say. Technology is something that happened to other people...
Anyway, back to the questions..
Kyley Felix was worried about reading COMPULSION because of the cat torture scene (oops, sorry if that's given anything away.)
Kyley, don't worry about it. It was necessary. I never, contrary to what some people may think, include a scene just for the hell of it. If it's necessary it goes in, no matter how unpleasant... Hopefully you'll enjoy COMPULSION anyway. Just skip that bit when you get to it and believe me, no cats were harmed during the writing of that novel..
Adrian asked if the book 'The Keep' by F. Paul Wilson that I recommended was the one that Michael Mann's film of the same name was based on...
Yes, Adrian it was and yes, I know the film was crap. The book is much better, trust me.
Talking of Michael Mann though, am I alone in thinking that VIOLENT STREETS (or THIEF as it's sometimes known) is one of the finest films ever? Also that MANHUNTER was so far superior to the appalling RED DRAGON that there's no contest... Any views from anyone..?
Thanks to Amanda for letting me know the origin of the "Better to burn out than fade away" quote.
I know you hate Def Leppard but I actually saw that quote on a T-shirt worn by Joe Elliot...
I got a great T-shirt from my missus for Xmas, the slogan on the front reads:
STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME
She said it was either that or:
SMOKE CRACK, WORSHIP SATAN
Beats the shit out of "Save The Rain Forest" I reckon... I always thought how great leather jackets from the Hard Rock Cafe were. The only problem was the slogan on the back. It reads "Save The Planet" (or something). Now, had it been "Fuck the planet"... I might have dug out my wallet..
Damien asked me if I mixed horror and thriller in RENEGADES to see how the thriller side developed.
To be honest, Damien, the plot was worked out and that was just the way it ran... I've NEVER sat down to write a book as an experiment. Never wondered about changes of direction etc. Every book comes from one idea and I work a plot around that. Within a book, obviously, I look at things that interest me (in characters, etc.) but that's separate from the plot itself
Ross Nichols asked me about my literacy skills when I was first published...
Fucking hell, Ross... That's a different one... Literacy, (hold on, let me look that up...) As far as spelling, use of grammar and that went I was probably about the same as I am now... Lots of writers are crap spellers (lots of writers are crap writers for that matter...) I think I've got better over the years but my style has changed more than anything. I think I just got more confident, it's as simple as that.
A good agent will pick up grammatical errors etc. A really good one will try to push you in a certain direction too if they think that'll help. A really, really good one will push you to the limit and the very best, like mine, will drive you up the wall wanting you to strive for perfection (something that will never come but you can try and get close.) I don't think I've ever written a book that I was totally satisfied with, there are always bits you think you could have done better. I got about 80% there with RENEGADES and some more of the recent ones. I think if I ever finish and think it's perfect, that'll be the time to give up
Lee Meadows wanted to thank me for corrupting his mind for the last fifteen years...
My pleasure, Lee. I hope I'll be corrupting it for many years to come... Good luck with your own attempts to get published..
Tess wanted to know which horror films of the last five years reminded me of the golden age of horror in the 80's and 90's...
Golden age, Tess. We are talking about the decade that gave us the Friday the 13th films here... Mind you, it also gave us the first NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET didn't it? In the last five years... er... Nothing.
Lately I've seen DREAMCATCHER which was O.K. and DARKNESS FALLS which was bloody appalling. The remake of THE RING was O.K. Lots of atmosphere but no scares. There's a Japanese film called AUDITION which is superb. I saw that about six months ago. Can't recommend it highly enough. The same director's also made a brilliant gangster thriller called DEAD OR ALIVE. Rent them out on video or DVD. I don't think you'll be disappointed
Simon suggested that animation might suit my work...
I've thought about graphic novels a bit, Simon. That's about as close as it's got. And, yeah, you're right, T.V. would probably censor most of my stuff but that's the way it is I'm afraid. Still, you never know. I've written an adaptation of LUCY'S CHILD myself, so, we'll see what happens with that... As for being written into a book... We'll see..
Marc Shemmans asked if I'm likely to release a short story anthology...
Well, Marc, no would seem to be the immediate answer. The best (and only) short stories I've written are on the site, as are details of where they were first published. If someone asked me to do an anthology then I'd think about it obviously but my ideas tend to suit full-length novels better than short stories..
Sarah...
What can I say... A Liverpool fan, a Metallica fan, when should I propose... I'm glad you enjoy the rants and that they make you laugh. I try, I try..
Scott Rowbotham asked about the Wolf Kruger and Samuel P. Bishop books...
Well, Scott, sorry they're selling for 30 quid on ebay... No plans, as yet, to re-publish any of those but, you never know. My agent is looking into it as we speak... Watch the site for any info and updates
Right, that's it for another month. Thanks again for all your messages and questions.
I'm writing this on May 12th, the football season has finished, so life's lost it's meaning again until August... Still, considering the mighty Reds had their worst run of results for 50 years we still ended up 5th, in Europe and with a trophy. So, best wishes to any other Reds out there and fuck all Mancs
I think I'm going into a rant... See further on...
Thought I'd start dating these so if anyone wants to download them in order you can probably see how my descent into total insanity has progressed... Just kidding... (well, sort of...)
As you'll see for the date this is just before Red Nose day... That now means you'll see people driving around for the next six months with those HILARIOUS red noses stuck to their radiator grilles... Fuck me... If I see Lenny Fucking Henry asking for my money once more I'll hunt the bastard down and kill him... Here's a good idea Lenny, why not bung some of your own money to Ethiopia or wherever the fuck it is... In fact, if all the so called celebrities taking part in this annual bullshit put in one tenth of their salaries then you'd be able not only to feed all Ethiopia but to pay off the Third World debt... How's that for an idea, Lenny?
So stop pestering us for our hard earned cash and dig into your own oversized wallet... (Whoops, there goes the fucking knighthood...)
As a funny man once said all a bunch of starving Ethiopians need is to see Dawn French (Lenny's "roly-poly" wife...) and see the benefits of eating eight fucking meals a day... Talk about rubbing salt in the wound..
All prepared for war are we? Good..
I noticed a bit in the paper the other day that the American troops are going to be given special training so that they don't shoot British troops by mistake... Jesus H Christ... I know those dumb fucks couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery but this is unbelievable. Apparently last time around in the Gulf we lost more men to "friendly fire" (surely a contradiction in terms...) than we did to the fucking Iraqis..
I saw a great banner at Cardiff during the Worthington Cup Final that said DON'T BOMB IRAQ, NUKE MANCHESTER... Apologies to anyone out there who might support the poor beaten Mancs by the way. I'm not sorry you might be offended, I'm just sorry that you've chosen to support such a bunch of overrated, unsporting LOSERS..
Anyway, on we go... I'm off to the pictures soon to see MAID IN MANHATTAN (yes, I suffer too...) with Jennifer 'look at the size of my arse' Lopez. Have any of the lady readers out there bought any of J-Lo's range of clothes? Thought not, obviously you've got:
1. Taste
2. Enough crap in your wardrobe already
3. Good eyesight
What is it with this fucking woman? Apparently she arrived in England for the premiere of her latest bout of celluloid torture accompanied by THIRTY FIVE assistants including two people to do her fucking eyebrows... A bit of advice, Jenny... Buy a fucking Ladyshave..
"I'm still Jenny from the block..."
Yeah, right, and I'm a well-balanced, understanding man who has a subscription to fucking HELLO! Magazine..
Cunning link to Catherine Zeta Jones... Privacy invaded... Court case... Shut the fuck up you whining Welsh tart... Jesus Christ, all she was known for in this fucking country before THE MASK OF ZORRO was The Darling Buds of bloody May, now, suddenly, marriage to Michael Douglas makes her one of Hollywood's legends. Apparently she hates Britain now. Excuse me while I dab away the tears... If you don't like it then here's a little piece of advice... FUCK OFF. By the way, for those of you who haven't seen Miss Zeta Jones in Chicago yet, don't bother. I was fortunate enough to see CABARET (made in 1972) on Monday at a special screening and it's a timely reminded of how overrated and over hyped CHICAGO is. By the way, CABARET (apart from being a superb film) also includes, in my opinion, one of the most horrifying scenes in cinema. If features a member of the Hitler youth singing a song, quite beautifully, called Tomorrow Belongs To Me while being watched by a group of Germans. Gradually, one by one, they join in until the whole lot are standing and roaring out this anthem. The scene is brilliantly done and raises the hairs on the back of your neck..
Anyway, back to the rant..
Same gores for the Beckhams... The stick insect has been shopping for houses in Milan while hubby removes his boots form his head (thank God the boot hit him in the head where no damage could be done...) Also, strange how no TV camera picked up Beckham throwing down his losers medal in disgust in Cardiff after humiliation at the hands of the mighty Reds... Ah well, win some, lose some... I see they bought Manhattan (or whatever the fuck the kid's called...) a donkey for his birthday, the poor little bastard took one look and thought it was Rio Ferdinand..
This bit was written a couple of days later by the way and I've now seen MAID IN MANHATTAN... For fuck's sake... How much money must it have taken to get Ralph Fiennes in this shit with Jennifer Lopez... He'd have been better off doing like his uncle/Grandad or whatever and fucking off to the North Pole. Come to think of it, that would have made for more interesting viewing... However, as an antidote to that piece of Hollywood shite I was also fortunate enough to finally catch the quite magnificent BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE... See this film at all costs. If it's available on video then beg, borrow, steal or sell yourself, your wife or your kids to get a copy. It is mind blowing. Michael Moore is a genius and I haven't been so affected by a film for many many years. Absolutely magnificent stuff.
Anyway, I'm off to the pictures again now, (JACKASS: THE MOVIE for the second time... I love that show and the film is great...) so until next time, look after yourselves and enjoy the war... My prediction:
IRAQ 20,000 AMERICA 80 (after extra time) BRITAIN 1,000 (all killed by Yanks)
Then again, it could be a home win for Iraq but I doubt it. I'm betting on an away.
p.s. Apparently, the biggest threat, according to Colin Powell (now look, the bastard's name is COLIN as in Colin Welland, not fucking CO-LIN) is the Taliban Navy... You have been warned..
Hello everybody. Yours truly back again. Hope you all had a good Xmas, New Year, Year of the Goat etc. etc..
Better get these answered before the war starts, eh?
What the fuck is going on? Am I the only one who thinks that George Bush just happens to be the most dangerous lunatic since Adolf H.? The dozy Yank twat seems intent on war no matter what and what's good old Tony Blair doing..? Following the prick right into the brink of madness.
Now, in case anyone out there has forgotten, in the First World War the Yanks decided not to enter until the Lusitania was sunk by a German sub. Right? In the Second tiff we had with Germany, they were quite happy to provide England with weapons while we fought on alone and then only decided to enter the war when Japan invited them too by blowing the fuck out of Pearl Harbour (for further info, DO NOT see the Hollywood dogshit movie starring Ben 'ooh look at me I'm nobbing J-Lo' Affleck.
By the way, the above dig at Mr Ben 'ooh look at me I won an Oscar for writing the script of GOOD WILL HUNTING' Affleck is not, contrary to what many may think, prompted by jealousy as I do not, unlike most of the male population of the world, find J-Lo all that stunning. Come on, let's be fair, this woman (very attractive though she may be) has got an arse like a fucking house side... Now, if Mr Ben 'ooh look at me I'm DAREDEVIL' Affleck was nobbing Nicole Kidman, Brittany Murphy, Asia Argento or Halle Berry then I would be jealous but he's not so there..
Anyway, back to the war.
All I'm saying is, the Yanks arrived fashionably late for two World wars and are now on the verge of starting a third one for the following reasons:
a) George Bush's old man hadn't got the balls, the know-how or the troops to finish the job in Iraq in 1990
b) Saddam has close links with Al Queda (he must have, the American Secret Service says so... Yeah, the same dozy pricks who couldn't stop a bunch of fucking towel heads flying planes into the World Trade Centre... After they'd been warned by Mossad and the Russian secret service... This is a group of men who spend 30 BILLION DOLLARS A YEAR... A YEAR... on locating terrorists and couldn't intercept one single phone call from Al Queda. The same guys who now have IRREFUTABLE proof that Saddam has weapons of mass destruction.)
c) Iraq has vast amounts of oil
d) George Bush doesn't like Saddam much and wants a new regime in Baghdad
Answers on a postcard to:
Shaun 'shut the bunker door behind you' Hutson,
Somewhere under the ground,
England.
The 52nd State of the U.S. of fucking A
Now excuse me for sounding a tad cynical but, what the fuck, it's a living..
I'm just curious if anyone disagrees/agrees/thinks I should stick to writing books and shut the fuck up.
And speaking of Michael Jackson...
Come on, own up, who watched the interview...
Now, personally, I'm not sure what to make of the bloke.
Genius.
Kiddie fiddler.
Victim.
Basket case
Answers on a postcard to:
Shaun 'I can remember Michael Jackson when he was black' Hutson,
Behind the hot water pipes,
Third washroom along,
Neverland.
I was thinking that if I ever become a multi-millionarie I'm going to have my own theme park built. I'm going to call it NEVER IN A MILLION FUCKING YEARS LAND... Catchy, eh?
It would feature log flumes, rollercoasters and shoot the celebrity stalls...
Zoe Ball splits with Fat Twat Slim
Catherine Zeta Jones and Micheal Douglas take HELLO to court
Robbie Williams gambles
Don't you reckon that these headlines prompt four questions:
Yeah? And? So? What?
Who gives a fuck? Jesus, these overpaid bastards don't deserve privacy... I really hope Catherine and Michael (no I don't know them personally but it's quicker than typing their full fucking names...) lose their case. Not because I don't like them but because... they can afford it
NO ONE and I mean NO ONE who earns over a million a year is entitled to privacy. Fuck them. If they don't like the cameras around them then get a proper job... Take the money and shut the fuck up... Whining bastards... Oh, by the way, the papers reckon the Beckhams are the new Royal Family... Roll on the revolution then... I will be FIRST in line to guillotine those fuckers... The French had the right idea where royalty were concerned. Royalty, fuck me, I doubt if Beckham can even spell it..
Right, that's me finished for the time being. I am ranted out, folks
See you next time.