Questions 2002

Saturday 11th October 2002


Hi folks, it's me again. Back at last and here's the answers to some of the questions you asked time out
People keep asking about video games. Well, I must admit I don't play them much apart from football games. Well, a football game called ISS SOCCER PRO. I'm on that every day. Otherwise, I've tried stuff like RESIDENT EVIL, ALONE IN THE DARK, SILENT HILL and all that but I'm not a great fan of anything that takes too much thought ... I think it's a bit worrying that films are starting to rely on video games as inspiration and I'd have rather played on a fucking Playstation for 2 hours than sat and watched the RESIDENT EVIL film (other than the exquisite Milla Jovavich)
Someone asked if I'd thought of doing horror with humour... I thought I did... Oh alright, some of the recent stuff hasn't quite had that (I've been too busy getting darker and darker...) but, as for something like SCREAM... I don't think so. I hated that film. Wes Craven hasn't made a decent film since NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET. Anyone disagree..?
Sorry about the stone cold tea, chalk dry throats etc. I'll try harder next time..
Hello to Paul, my old milkman. I hope you're well mate
Someone else asked who the best publishers were, Well, to be mercenary about it I'd have to sat whoever pays the most money but, seriously, you wouldn't go far wrong with Warner (grovel, grovel). Having said that, I am sure that there are some good ones out there. It really depends on if you've got the right product in the right place at the right time because, let's not forget folks, it's just another product to publishers... Soap powder, pot noodle and books... Why do you think they sell them in Asda and fucking Tesco..?
Gazza asked if I would like to write another war story. To be honest, yes but it'll never happen. I always wanted to finish the SLEDGEHAMMER series I did as Wolf Kruger. Take the unit right through to the end of the war in Berlin, fighting around the Berlin bunker and all that. Gazza also said I was "one fucked up crazy bloke," and for that, Gazza, I can only thank you. Take care..
Sarah Rigby was very kind about my books. Thanks, Sarah. She also asked if I'd read any Joe Lansdale books... Sarah, please. Me, read? You are joking? Especially not horror. books... Jesus... Actually I have just finished reading a book (cheers, applause...), quite an effort for me. As usual, it was non-fiction (AMERICAN SCREAM; THE STORY OF BILL HICKS) and I'm half way through another book called JUSTIFIED LIVES which is all about Sam Peckinpah movies. Actually I'm just off to buy the DVD of STRAW DOGS... A masterpiece. Anyone disagreeing can see me in the playground..
Paul Tyrrell asked me what I thought of the rock band Thunder. Look, Paul, if your wife likes them then... Well, they were great when they started and I still think Danny Bowes has got a superb voice. Not what they were maybe and not on a par with one of favourite bands the quite magnificent GREAT WHITE whose new album CAN'T GET THERE FROM HERE, I'm listening to as I write this (yes I know I've always said I write in silence, but this isn't work, is it, folks...) Paul, leave the missus alone and, as a fellow Liverpool fan, just enjoy the fact that the mighty Reds are doing so well (God I loved stuffing Chelsea in the last minute for the second season running...)
Karen Gillion wanted to know when there was another "good, gory horror" book on the way from yours truly. HELL TO PAY is getting there, the one after it should be just what you're looking for Karen.
Someone else wanted to know my opinion of AMERICAN PSYCHO... Never read it, sorry. I've got a copy but I've never felt tempted to read it, I might have a skim now you've asked. Somebody else asked (and I cracked up when I read it, thanks...) "Who'd win a fight between you and Brett Easton Ellis" You lot really do make me laugh. No wonder I love my fucking readers... Who'd win? I'd kill the pretentious little Yank twat... Hope that answers that one too..
Paul, the Tranmere Rovers fan, all I can do is agree with you. It's a pain when you can't get hold of my books. It's not always down to the publishers. It's booksellers, bookshops, etc. etc. There are so many people to be arsed-licked in the book business I don't know how some of the household names find time to even write... Anyway, thanks for the concern, mate and for your concern about the mighty Reds letting in so many goals. As you will have noticed, normal service has now been resumed as West Brom, City, Chelsea and Spartak Moscow found out. By the way, I was at Trenton Park a couple of seasons for out game against you in the Cup. Great little ground, one of the best outside the Premier. I wish your lot all the best for this coming season..
A few people wanted to know if Ward in HYBRID is based on me... Er... Well, probably. Every central character has bits of me in (especially Doyle). I don't think you can avoid that when you write. How much of is me, you'll have to guess at. Even I'm not sure some of the fucking time...
Steve Bentham wanted to know if I'll go back to writing books in the style of VICTIMS, RELICS and SHADOWS. Well, Steve, give me time, mate. Things may well turn full circle soon. All I can do is see what spews out of this fetid brain of mine. I'm sure there'll be some more of that on the way. Have no fear... Never read Graham Masterson I'm afraid... I saw the film of THE MANITOU. I shall say no more...
Peter wondered why I hadn't been asked to do a signing session in Milton Keynes. Pete, write to the fucking bookshop and ask them... If anything comes of it then there'll be news on the site. Thanks for the question. Maybe if write a novel about being middle class, having a kid to bring up on my own, being a cricket umpire or something equally tedious then they'll ask me... Now, if only I'd fucked John Major I'd be singing in Harrods..
Brian Rayner fought his way through HYBRID just for the privilege of being able to say out loud it was a "monumental pile of shite". That's what I call commitment... You're entitled to your opinion, Brian. I'll try to do better, if that's O.K. with you... You can say what you like about my books, like I said, that's your right and I respect that, but don't ever accuse me of treating my readers like morons, you dumb fuck... Try reading a book about fairies, give me a break, I have a life... I hope you like my next one more. Let me know what you think when it comes out..
And Michelle, the Lewis Bloch mentioned in COMPULSION is South African and works in London. Another Lewis Bloch I suspect..
So, that's it folks, keep the questions coming, no matter what they are. I value your comments, opinions and support. You are the only ones who matter in the end so let's go...