Questions 2011

December

I have been a fan of yours since 1989 when I was stationed in Britain. Having ran out of stuff to read I bought a copy of Shadows, and was back in the shop the next week picking up pretty much everything else. As a matter of interest, at the same time I had the stack in my hands I asked the salesperson where she kept the Doctor Who books and when she saw I was buying your books and Doctor Who, I think she put me on a special list.
Anyway, you rock. I have a little trouble sometimes getting your books here in the States, but it has always been worth it. Also, I loved Twins of Evil and cannot wait for the next one.
Chip
Atlanta, Georgia

Thanks for the kind words, Chip. It's difficult enough getting hold of my books over here! Glad you enjoyed Twins of Evil... the next one is X The Unknown... all the best.

Hi, here's Paul from Poland.
I wrote an e-mail about three months ago. I made your fan page on facebook (Shaun Hutson's Fans). I was supposed to make it a Polish thing, but it turned out as something international.
I'm a teacher of Polish language and I' ve always wanted to tend my pupils to read more and more (you know, nowadays amongst 12-15 years odl it isn't that popular) and I decided to use your book ("Deathday" actually) as help. My edition is about 20 years old and it became a bit yellow and smelly but for kids a book, which looks this way is something bizarre, like some kind of spellbook. I know that horror story isn't ok for adolescents but I don't read them the whole story, just spme parts. They liked it, because they suddnly realised, that all this ECLIPSE stuff isn't anything new, that in books they can find everything they want to find - thrill, action, emotions.
Maybe I will use your book one more time in the future, who knows.
Thank you and greetings!

Many thanks for setting up the Facebook page and also for using Deathday to teach your students... I'm glad they liked it.

Hi Shaun,
To be honest, I found it hard to believe that Cineworld was now selling booze ... but apparently booze in cinemas is not new!
What the fuck is the world coming to?! Can you imagine: you're sitting enjoying a film you really want to see and some plonker - boozed out their face - starts telling you what's going to happen because they saw it months ago on an illegal download? Or you're enjoying said film and a drunk vomits down the back of your neck? Or a fight breaks out because a tall person can't slouch enough to let the drunk behind him/her see clearly?
Still, you could always enjoy a film week dedicated to alcohol: starts with 'The Rum Diary' & 'Whisky Galore!', then continues with such classics as - 'Conan The Barman', 'Paralytic Activity', 'Drink And Drive Angry', 'Legless In Seattle', 'Piss In Boots', 'The Beer Hunter', 'Butch Campari & The Tequila Sunrise Kid', 'How To Drain Your Flagon', 'Bar Trek', 'Schindler's Pissed' and my particular favourite, 'Alcopopalypse Now'. The movie to finish the week ... 'The Hangover' of course!
Seriously though, the reason cigarettes are taboo and alcohol isn't ... cigarettes don't numb the mind nor do they kill brain cells (to the best of my knowledge). Those who wish the populace to remain sheep, brain-numbed and blindly obedient, don't want to change that and seem to be actively encouraging it: have you seen the number of ads on TV promoting alcohol? Sure, you get the 'Drink Responsibly' message but it's tacked on and in tiny print. And I've lost count of the number of 'latest deals' leaflets from local supermarkets where fully one third of the deals concern alcohol.
Anyway, glad you hated the re-make of 'Straw Dogs': I have the original on DVD and - as you rightly say - it's a classic. One of Dustin Hoffman's best performances, in my humble opinion. Now may be the best time to have your agent push to get your books made into movies, what with the dearth of original ideas in Shoddywood! (Mind you, they'd probably turn Renegades into a comedy thriller with Sean Doyle portrayed by Ben Stiller.)
Well, I've taken up enough space.
Long may you write and rant.
Take care Shaun and all the best to you and your family.
Jim

Your list of booze related film titles made me piss myself, Jim... good one... I couldn't believe the sale of booze at Cineworld either but apparently it is going quite well even for the hugely inflated prices they charge... as far as film adaptations goes if it was going to happen it would have happened by now... my agent obviously doesn't have lunch with the right people or kiss the right arses... fuck them...

Hi Shaun
Would just like to start by saying I'm pissed off. After spending loads of time plucking up the courage to use Ebay (I hate giving details out), I finally got my grubby little mitts on a copy of Breeding Ground, only to leave it in Leeds. We went up to see the girlfriends father and, after a furious row between the missus and her sister - with more curse words than the average Hutson novel - ended up leaving it partially read up there. Anyway, down to business mate, and how's tricks? Interesting time to be both and Arsenal and Liverpool supporter. This season is totally manic. And, erm, what's your opinion on Manchester United's defeat to the blues? Ha ha ha. How're you enjoying the increasing decline in the Shit Factor viewers? Everybody keeps yelling "Bring Cowell back!" Sure that will bring them running in their hordes again. Perhaps you should make an appearance as a special judge! Now that would be must-see-TV! Congratulations on the new book, Twins of Evil. I noticed it the other day in Waterstone's, simply because they never stock your fucking books. I haven't bought it just yet, but seeing as I haven't missed one novel (with the exception of fucking Breeding Ground) I somehow see it joining my collection soon. What's next in the pipeline, pal? We've just found out our baby is going to be a little boy. Should be here in the next three months, so it's a mad rush now to buy everything blue and do get an infant Arsenal kit. Somehow, see him growing up to be just like his old man, an Arsenal and Hutson fan. I found an old (and apparently how floppy Johnothan Ross's hair is, I can only assume it should be on the Antique fucking Roadshow) interview between you, Wossy and Vinnie Jones on Youtube the other night. Just wondering if you remembered it? You were promoting Captives and, snigger snigger, the release of Slugs the movie. Fuck, your hair was wild back then. I hope all is well with you and yours, until next month
James. The Arsenal fan.

Sorry you lost your copy of Breeding Ground, James... bloody family arguments eh? Congratulations on the new arrival... it was one of the most memorable days of my life when my little girl was born (16 years ago) absolutely indescribable as you will find out for yourself. Yes, that hairstyle of mine back in the 80's looked like a busted sofa but what the fuck... wish it was like that now... all the best and congratulations once more.

Hi Shaun,
I wrote to you last June 2011, thank you so much for replying, I couldn't believe it, I was so chuffed , you made my day!! I showed my partner and he thought it was pretty cool... I said "yeah, he is isn't he" !!
Anyway, I bought 'Epitaph' and have almost read it all within a few nights, I could have finished it last night but I had to stop myself as I wanted something to look forward to when I cosy up in my bed tonight!! lol.. I haven't anymore books of yours to read, (have about 12 in cupboard already read) , but will be purchasing more from Amazon next week from the UK. Last rites, Body Count, Hell to Pay are the ones I've chosen. oh I just love reading your books, ... quite a change from the hustle and bustle of my two little boys 2 and under!!! It's awesome to slip into another world, gripping and gory as you make it! lmao.. Keep up the good work mate, you certainly are a legend!! (Ps: I don't read any other books whatsoever)
Mal Schwarz

With two boys under two I don't know how you have time to breathe, Mal, let alone read... glad you're enjoying my stuff...

Hiya Shaun, I have just read the updated questions, hoping for an answer to mine. but I saw that some people want a follow up to Stolen Angel, If ever you do ,please don't spoil my claim to fame of surviving a Shaun Hutson story. You used my name for a social worker in the book and I didn't die. not many people can say that.
Love Val Weston .p.s don't forget to let me have an address

I could always bring you back to life and kill you all over again, Val... and trust me there will not be a sequel to Stolen Angels...

November

Hiya Shaun,
As I had most of the threads left from the first time, I have almost finished stitching the book covers again,(keeps me out of mischief) I was mad that you never got the first one which was all in a big picture, I have done them separately this time so the package won't be as big. Before I post them, please,please let me know the best address to use to make sure they reach you, I will probably send them recorded this time, just incase. Mind you it would be even better to give them to you personally so how about a much overdue trip to Birmingham. look forward to hearing from you.
love Val

Sorry it never reached me the first time, Val. I look forward to seeing what you've done. I'll send you a better address to send it to so you'll know I'll receive it... whatever it is... all the best.

Dear Mr Hutson,
ive been a fan as long as i can remember and have been looking at your 'Shauns Shit' on your web site, just wanted to say i had tears rolling down my face while reading some of your (in my opinion very accurate) blow outs at everyone that i personally would like to see dropped feet first into am industrial blender on 'mulch' setting, Cheryl Cole, J.K Rowling (omfg that bitch pisses me off more than anyone on the face of the planet) i mean come on, she for one has basically fallen into a sewage works and come up smelling of roses, get alife, and i wih she would fuck off back to a greasy spoon cafe and drown herself in coffee (laced with rat poison...very nice ive been told). Well i know you are busy, and to have you even read this far is more than an honour to me,i have read and thouroughly loved every one of your works, i have them all treasured and now being read by my eldest daughter, (shes converted now).
Dont let the bastards get ya down
Yours most humble
Steve W

Glad to hear your daughter is now reading my books, steve. My own won't touch them just yet... can't say I blame her though... Glad you like Shaun's shit too... I wish that all my ranting and raving could have some kind of effect... just something small like a massive embolism for Katie Price is that asking too much...?

Hi Shaun
Just been reading your rants and have to agree with the chap who complained about not being able to buy your books in Waterstones I had exactly the same problem a few years back.The good news is they will order them for you.The best place is to get them from is Amazon who don't get ripped off, luckily I was given a Kindle and you would not believe the number of books that suddenly become available.Just purchased Twins Of Evil can't believe it just £3. 91 why buy paper books you can see where we are heading towards a paperless society. I have been totally demoralized this weekend just watched Our Noisy Neighbours absolutely thrash us at Old Trafford I have never witnessed anything like it before I remember when Forest came up in the 70s or 80s I think. they ran rings round us and beat us 4-0 under Brian Clough but this weekend was definitely the worst and you could see it coming we were lucky against Chelsea and Norwich at home should have got beaten at Anfield and if he does not strengthen the midfield in the New Year I can not see us qualifing for the champions league this year. Fletcher is too weak Anderson is fucking wank Phil Jones is inexperienced , Vidic does not seem to get a place Rio is past it, the manager does not know who is best side are ,I fear there are a few more drubbings to come ,well that said I wish you and your family a very merry Christmas it might be early but you would not think so with the shops. Closing now so all the best hope that shite team of years carry on struggling your best mate
John the manc.

Good to hear from you again, John. Glad you can still get my books from Amazon, I know Waterstones aren't exactly supportive these days. I believe there are a few on Kindle and even though I hate the fucking things I know that lots of people find them useful. I can imagine your disappointment at what happened this season (obviously we were delighted... ) but I'm hardly in a position to gloat and to be honest I can't see it getting much better in the near future however, you never know... suppose we've both got to be a bit optimistic... you might have more reasons to be than me though... all the best, mate...

Hello Shaun,
I have this vague memory of you co-hosting or at least appearing on the James Whale show back when late night telly was in its infancy, you kept dropping F-words all over the shop and he kept having to apologise! I had it on VHS for a while - do you remember the appearance?
Anyway - the question is which TV shows have been your most memorable and which would you like to do or present?
Cheers mate
Dave aged 38 3/4

Yes, Dave I did do the James Whale show a few times (I also ghosted James autobiography a few years back... ) but you would never have heard me saying the F-word... that wouldn't have been very professional. I never swore on any of my TV appearances! Not with James or anyone else... you might have heard Jim Bowen say cunt without realizing he was live on air (a particularly hilairious moment that I was present at... ) but not me... I loved doing that show, James was a bloody good host and we always had a laugh as we did on his radio show as well. I did Jonathan Ross three times too and that was also good fun. I enjoyed hosting the Monsters of Rock show on Sky back in the 80's which I did when the regular presenter wasn't available. I enjoyed all of my TV appearances but the ones on Central Weekend were probably the best, it was a discussion programme (well, it was more like a fucking bear pit really... ) with audience participation and I was on that a few times in the 90's. I always preferred being a guest, it was much easier...

Hi again, Shaun.
In answer to your question; I'm the same Jim McArthur who wrote to you all those years ago - in ink and on actual paper. Those were the days, huh?!
I liked the point you made about today's youngsters reminiscing about the 'great' gigs they'd been to: reminded me of the old joke about the long-time married elderly couple listening to the radio and sipping tea when the presenter plays 'Anarchy In The UK' by the Sex Pistols ... 'Listen to that, sweetheart' says the old man, 'They're playing our song!'
Music used to be dangerous and edgy; now it's safe, dull and packaged pap - for the most part, that is ... There's still some good stuff going around but unfortunately most people don't get to hear it because the media is all over the shiny-faced, shit-steeped crap that passes for 'pop'. I remember going to see true greats: Queen, Whitesnake, Rainbow, Scorpions, Judas Priest, Maiden, Uriah Heep, Magnum - and regretting never having seen Rush, Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Yes, Thunder, Black Sabbath etc.
But all is not doom and gloom ... I'd love to see Alter Bridge, Seether, Dream Theater, 3 Doors Down, Train, The Answer, Adele (what an incredible voice the young lady has!), Black Stone Cherry ...
What I'm trying to say is: if you truly enjoy good music then look outside of the charts and browse around.
Well, I could go on and on ... and risk turning my email into a novel-length rant!
Music recommendations: mentioned most already ... they're all good.
Films: I really liked a wee low-budget horror flick called 'Grave Encounters' but then I didn't watch it in a cinema packed with morons more intent on socializing than watching the movie: played it on my PC very late at night, headphones on, lights out and having already had some tea and biccies. Unbeatable!
Football: good luck to the 'Pool' under 'King Kenny'. I'm not enjoying the game as much as I used to ... too many over-paid, diving, cynical prima-donnas in the game for my liking. (Fuck me: 'Where's my pipe and slippers, Ethel?')
Take care, Shaun and best wishes to you and your family.
Keep the fire burning!
Jim

Bloody hell, Jim, I thought it was you. I preferred those days of pen and paper myself but then I'm useless with technology anyway... I agree with everything you say about music and films etc. There's just no fucking passion in music these days (not the mainstream shit anyway... ) I watched a documentary about Ozzy Osbourne the other day and thought "I'm sure my daughter will be watching a programme just like this about JLS in thirty years time..." I don't fucking think... I hate these manufactured twats and the talent show shite that gets vomited out at us. Simon Cowell has probably done more to damage the music business than any other person alive by foisting all these no-marks upon us but then again... the public could always turn their backs but they don't... Same with films, the shit turned out by Hollywood is soul destroying but people still take it... what the fuck can you do? Take care, mate...

October

Hi Shaun, I'm dying to know. Will there be a second book to stolen angels or have you written another book under a different title that continues from where it left off. You can't leave me just hanging like this. I know a book can be ended without explaining everything but that's Leaving the story mid way though.
Please let me know
JR Godfrey

JR and a sequel to Stolen Angels... well, there won't be one as far as I'm aware because I didn't think it needed one! Mind you, you're not the first person to mention this possibility so maybe I need to look at it again. Having said that I obviously fucked the ending up if so many people are asking me (well, not so many, about 4 to be honest). I thought I'd just left it open ended but it seems there's a difference between open ended and unresolved eh? Sorry you're still confused... I know I am...
Right, that's my lot. See you next month I hope.

Hiya Shaun,
I know your busy and all that crap but I love your work and would love you to come down to the Horror/Sci-Fi event in the midlands I run and own, looking at about 800 people coming.
Well thats about it, hope your well.
Speak soon, yours,
Wil.

Wil, I'm afraid I won't be able to make it to your thing in the Midlands. I do apologise but I hope it goes well. I'm sure it will. Whenever I did stuff in and around Birmingham or anywhere else in the Midlands the audiences were brilliant.

Hi again, Shaun.
I'd like to apologise for my last email. I was having a 'strange' day: those are days that are neither 'good' (few) or 'bad' (v. common). On days that are 'strange' I can get quite hyper and see the world as most people not suffering from depression must do i.e. in 3 dimensions and 'Technicolor'. 'Bad' days means the world looks flat and dull: 'good' days means the world looks flat, dull but bearable. Anywho, didn't mean to offend: the invite was/is genuine but it shouldn't have been made in a public forum. So ... I'm sincerely sorry.
Just finished reading your latest rant: spot on, as always. I actually wrote a humorous short story titled 'Binge Smokers Terror Spree'. Much the same as your rant, I was angry at the treatment of smokers when I wrote it. (I'm a smoker - I'd like to quit - but I'm addicted - and don't have the willpower.) Went down well with the few people that have read it ... most of whom (who?) don't smoke. When was the last time anyone was accosted/assaulted on the high street by a person who had just smoked 20 cigs in a couple of hours ... unless they'd also consumed 20 pints of beer/lager in that time?
Okay, my wee rant is over.
Music: great year for rock with new albums by Foo Fighters, Magnum, Uriah Heep, Whitesnake, Dream Theater, Opeth, Trivium ... to name but a few. All recommended.
TV: I only really like stuff such as Frasier (the earlier episodes before Niles and Daphne became an item), factual astrophysics programmes on Discovery and other channels of that ilk ... and football. Scottish football is a disgrace at the moment. Lots of people say lack of finance is the big problem ... I say 'Bollocks!' Why can't John McSmith be as skillful as Jose Smithinho? Skill. Practice being two-footed, work on passing, receiving, controlling and shooting the ball with either foot! Simples! (Squeek!) ... Sorry.
Okay, I've taken up too much of your time.
Take care, Shaun. All the best to you and your family.
Jim
PS
'Don't let the bastards grind you down!'

Jim... Thanks for your rant, mate and please don't apologise for what you said last time or the way you said it. After all it wasn't as if you threatened to kill me was it?...I know what you mean about seeing life in different ways. I tend to see it all as black I'm afraid... that old Woody Allen quote about life being divided into the horrible and the dreadful I always find very apt! (I think I got that quote wrong but what the fuck, you know what I mean... )
To my shame I can't remember the last album I bought other than Iron Maiden's THE FINAL FRONTIER... I'm appallingly out of touch. My daughter has discovered Pink Floyd I'm delighted to say and is constantly listening to The Wall and Dark Side of the Moon on her i-pod so I'm taking credit for that. I feel sorry for teenagers these days growing up with the sort of shite pedalled by the music business. I know that most of them like it but the ones who don't suffer like I do on a Saturday night when the Shit Factor is on!
My tastes in TV are weird I'm afraid. I love SOUTH PARK but also watch the re-runs of SEX AND THE CITY... I also prefer documentaries, usually military history like the World at War and the American Civil War. I must confess to watching Emmerdale too... so shoot me... I happen to think that the writing for some soaps is tremendously underrated (honest... ). To keep characters going and keep coming up with new plots constantly takes some doing.
Regarding Scottish football I'd have to agree with you about the quality (although I see much less than you do obviously) but having said that the Premier League isn't always top notch and not the fantastic product Sky would have us believe they're selling. However, I remember when Scottish players were a huge mainstay of top English sides (Liverpool had some brilliant Scottish players like Hansen, Souness and Dalglish for instance) but that doesn't seem to be the case now. It's usually players who've played in the Premier League going up to Scotland... but I agree with you, it doesn't matter what nationality a bloke is he should be able to pass, trap a ball, head it, shoot etc. etc.
Ah, well, what the fuck do we know, Jim? All the best, mate...

September

Before I get started I just wanted to say how kind it is of so many of you to enquire about my (apparently deteriorating) state of mind... sorry if I've come across as depressed and 'down' in what I've written lately (I am depressed but sorry it's come across in the rants etc... mind you with all the celebrity shit flying around who can wonder at it... ) Anyway, thanks once again for your concern you lot, I'm touched... but, enough of my bullshit, here's the answers to this month's questions...
Hi Shaun,
Just watched 'American: The Bill Hicks Story' and knowing that you're a fan of his (it was through your website that I discovered him - thanks!), it got me wondering: If you were to hold a dinner party (whether you can cook for shit or not), who would you invite? Alive or dead. Hicks would definitely be on my list and I presume on yours too. Wait, let me guess. Katie Price, Cheryl Cole...
Having a 4 year old kid in the house and not a teenager means I don't have to watch The X Factor, but I thought I'd watch it this year just to share in your misery, just so you're not alone. The one good thing about it is that Cheryl 'Limp, Lifeless' Cole is not on it this year, so maybe we'll begin to hear a bit less about her.
Hope you're well,
Rich.
P.S. If you're ever in South Wales you'd be very welcome to dinner, although I will warn you that I converted to vegetarianism about a year ago. Shortly after I read Erebus funnily enough.

I also had the privilege of seeing "American: The Bill Hicks story" and found it incredibly sad watching such a talented and perceptive guy on screen knowing he was dead. To then turn the channel and be confronted by hordes of talentless fucks that are still alive just made it worse! I often wonder what Bill would have made of this mediocre world and the shit it serves up as film, TV, music etc. If he hadn't died he'd probably have killed himself! That's an interesting question about the old hypothetical dinner party guest list thing... I am proud to say that I have never ever attended a dinner party in my life and would never dream of having one but we're talking hypothetically here aren't we so let's assume I'm a gregarious, jolly chap who enjoys the company of others and also that I've got a huge house and can afford caterers (look I'm fantasising to the fucking max here, Rich... ) who would I want to spend time with chatting over dinner? This is really fucking weird because my daughter asked me the same thing a week or so ago (well, she asked if I'd like to meet Napoleon actually... ) But here we go with my guest list... Bill Hicks and Sam Peckinpah are probably obvious choices for me (even though Sam would probably be pissed by the end of the first course and would have punched someone before the main course arrived... me more than likely!). Also around the table I'd love to have Matt Stone and Trey Parker (South Park creators) Ashlynn Brooke (porn actress who also featured in PIRAHNA 3-D and who, believe it or not, looks the absolute dead spit of a friend of mine when she was in her twenties... ). Napoleon Bonaparte (the most brilliant soldier in history in my humble opinion... ) and also Adolf Hitler (yes, that Adolf Hitler... ) Not because I'm a Nazi but because I'd like to hear his point of view for a change... He could compare notes with Napoleon about how they both fucked up by attacking Russia! I reckon that should be a fairly lively table... a comedian, a film director, a porn actress, two writer/directors and two dictators... can't say fairer than that can you? Who would you invite if you had one of these dinner parties, Rich? Obviously Jordan and Cheryl Cole would be there too, I mean the guests would have to have something to wipe their arses on... and Hitler was quite fond of dogs apparently... by the way, thanks for sharing in my misery by watching the Shit factor but I wouldn't wish that on anyone... I just dread to think of the state of the pop/showbiz world by the time your four year old is a teenager! Good luck... thanks again for the question, Rich and thanks for the offer of dinner too... look after yourself...

Hi Shaun,
Been reading your rants - man, you should write for a national newspaper: nothing short of anarchic genius!
Anywho, your rant that included your experience at the recent Maiden gig reminded me of something that my young brother and I experienced many years ago:
It was December 1979; I was sixteen, my brother was 14 and we were waiting outside the Glasgow Apollo to see Queen. (First ever gig - seeing Queen at the legendary Glasgow Apollo ... beat that!)
We'd arrived too early and were standing in the queue - hell, we WERE the queue! - outside the main doors when a Police officer walked up and said "You lads might want to take a wee walk as there are hundreds of Celtic fans going to be walking by here soon."
My brother replied, "That's okay ... we won't touch them."
The Policeman smiled but ushered us away from the building and told us to 'bugger off' for half an hour.
Needless to say, when we got back we were not the queue anymore.
(The gig was awesome ... just fucking brilliant).
So ... I noticed you seem to be getting a little 'down' - having a few 'bad days' as it were. You ever want a chat - a wee break, just relaxing, chatting about your books, music, football, politics ... whatever, you're more than welcome to pop in. No strings. Feel free to say no. (Ha-ha ... 'Fuck off! would be more your style, I imagine. I wonder if that invite just put me on your 'Fucking weirdo! ... avoid at all costs' list?)
Right, I've probably typed things I'll regret later so I'll send it off now ... well, not NOW now but when I've finished.
Take care, Shaun; all the best to you and your family.
Jim

Your story about you and your brother and that horde of Celtic fans was fucking hilarious (Jim, I could be wrong but didn't you used to write to me in the days when people actually still used pens and paper? If you did then thanks for sticking with me, if it's not you then apologies... ). Queen at the Glasgow Apollo in '79, fuck me, happy days eh? I can't match that needless to say... however... I did see Guns n Roses at the old Marquee in London the first time they ever played this country and no one knew who they were. I had a hamburger with a guy from Kerrang and Duff McCagan the bass player from GnR (I'm not name dropping by the way, I'm just trying to convey how unknown the band were in '86... ) and we walked down to the Marquee where people were waiting to get in and who was sitting across the road on the pavement passing a bottle of Jack Daniels back and forth... Izzy Stradlin (guitarist) Slash and Steven Adler (the drummer) and no one bothered them because no one knew who the fuck they were! Rock and roll eh? The next time I saw them was at a sold out Hammersmith Odeon... wow, we old rockers like to reminisce don't we? I can imagine two youngsters from today chatting like this in twenty years' time; "Ooh yeah, I saw JLS at the 02 and then Cher Lloyd but they only did about five gigs they sank into obscurity... " (I fucking hope... ) Take care, mate... and by the way I do not think you're a weirdo for offering to have a chat with me... I appreciate the offer...

Hi Shaun
How're thing's, mate? I messaged you earlier this month for the first time, and would just like to thank you for responding to my email. It's been a bitch of a time recently, but the second greatest news I recieved this month (the first being my girlfriend announcing she is pregant with our first baby) was turning on my laptop and discovering I had recieved an email from a genuine legend of the writing world. Heard about the car accident, have to say I was fucking appalled at how little coverage was on the internet about it. Nothing was mentioned on your Wikipedia page. And I was equally appalled when I went into Waterstone's to buy one of your novels and found nothing on the shelf. How the hell can a British bookshop have the entire Stephen King and Dean Koontz - two incredibly gifted novelists - collection, but hardly anything written by yourself or James Herbert? RELICS and SLUGS were just as terrifying as RATS and DARK. But not a single novel was on display. A complete fucking idiotic move during reccession-ravaged times! I suggest a collaboration, which I guarantee would bring fans rushing from the woodwork. Oh, by the way, the Pink-Eye episode of South Park was on TV the other night, my favourite and knowing your an avid fan too, just wondered any favourites? Keep up the manical ranting - telling you mate, you should be fucking Prime Minister. I would feel much more comfortable seeing you standing outside Number 10 promising justice for the current attrocities. Until next time mate, best wishes to you and yours
James...the Arsenal Fan.

I thought you were writing to lament the gunners start to the season (I watched that game against the fucking Mancs and couldn't believe it... ) but who cares, it's only bloody September. The media are just enjoying themselves at Arsenal's expense, we had the same thing last season... however, many congratulations to you and your girlfriend and I hope everything goes really smoothly for you and her. Do you want a boy or a girl? I desperately wanted a girl and thank God, got one... thanks for the concern about my car crash by the way and also about the lack of my books in Waterstones but it's only going to get worse I'm afraid. I also find it hard to believe they don't keep much James Herbert on the shelves either (and I'm being serious there... ). Still, I'm sure they have to clear the decks so that they can give the Twilight books plenty of room and let's not forget, as you mentioned, the 8,000 Stephen King books they have to keep on display (not jealousy by the way... I think he's a good writer, you all know that... ). On to happier subjects like South Park (well, happier only for a while apparently as it looks as if it's finishing God help us... ), yes I love the "Pink Eye" Episode. My favourites would have to be "Cartman joins Nambla,", "Make Love not Warcraft", "The Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka," "Red Hot Catholic Love," "Mysterion Rises," "Imaginationland," "Butters Very Own Episode," and many more too numerous to mention. I love that fucking programme so much. I've got all the DVD box sets and I always watch episodes on Comedy Central most nights too... Glad you enjoy my rants too by the way... all the best...

Hi again Shaun
If iv said it once il say it again (in fact I think I have said it 3 times actually) but you say exactly what I and millions of others want to say in your Shaun's shit. Your outlook on life is so freakishly like mine we must be related. Are you a 6ft good looking dude as well? Nah then I guess we aint related. Seriously tho I have not been able to go see a film at the cinema for about 13 years in fact I have been with my girlfriend for 13 years and on one of our dates I took her to see a film I used to take all girls I met to see a film as I worked as a bouncer and most girls who you see in a night club look pretty good in the darkness of a club so as a safety net I used to take them to see a film so if they turned out to not only look damn ugly in daylight but also as often was the case they could not string a sentence together yes I was in a minority a bouncer who could not only lift a ton but spell it as well, so anyway by taking the uglies to a film I would not have to waste hours dabbling in polite conversation all tho I must add living in Essex the chat up line of DO YOU TAKE IT IN THE GOB did often save me time and money. Anyway I digress so off me and my better half went to see a film and whilst there a row of about 4-5 guys two rows in front of us all talking txing rustling there fucking bags of sweets and crunching up there tins of pepsi or some other sugary sick drink and lobbing the tins across the room hard cunts you see they were, so after about 10 mins of this I was recognizing the danger signs in me, sweaty back, red face, bulging eyes foam around the mouth when I decided I had enough so I get up march my huge steroid 18 stone body over to them and loudly proclaim that if they don't shut the fuck up I will reach down and rip out there fucking throat at which point they all look up meekly and apologies so just so they know im serious I jab one in the eyes with my fingers he then screams the fucking house down I grab my girlfriend and we scarper just as the lights come on and the film stops. Needless to say as I cant trust myself I have never been back since so I just wait for the fucking dvd I cant afford to go back in the nick my temper always gets me in trouble but im calmer now im older, and she wants to go see Harry potter and co and yes my girlfriend is still with me all tho I cant work out why we are not married after all these years still hey ho....
LEIGH RYAN

Leigh... your story about hating going to the pictures and your encounter with those twats you had to silence that time had me in hysterics... nice to know someone else agrees with me. I'm glad you like the rants by the way. So many people have written to this site saying that they agree perhaps we should all band together and form some kind of organisation to hunt down and slaughter the talentless, the ignorant, the rude and the mediocre! Do you still work as a bouncer? I always dreamed that if I won the Euro Lottery jackpot I'd open a club in Central London and make it the trendiest place to be seen then stand on the door myself watching as so called celebs turned up and, as they tried to enter I would tell them to fuck off waiting for them to use that time honoured bullshit "Don't you know who I am?" to which I would reply "Yes, that's why you're not getting in you fucking half-wit." Ah, we can all dream can't we? All the best, mate...

Hi Shaun, you miserable bastard,
Still hating the country/world? (If you weren't, I'm sure every fan of yours would be disappointed)
After reading and reviewing (whore 'eclectic-book-reviews.blogspot.com' whore) Victims I thought I'd write an email to you. (Please, do excuse the belatedness of it). Along with Blood Secrets by Craig Jones, Victims was book of the year so far.
I must say that I agree with just about everything you say in your shit (except that football is great - I find it rather dull myself). I also noticed that you listen to Slipknot: the band that got me into metal.
For a question, I wondered what your thoughts on old (90s mainly) club and trance are. Although I love metal and have seen many metal bands live (Cannibal Corpse are amazing live and much recommended), I'll always have a place in my heart for 90s dance and trance as I grew up listening to it. I tried putting a modern pop music channel on and everything was utter shite, sadly.
Have a good week/year etc and stay miserable,
Pete

Thanks for calling me a miserable bastard but strictly speaking I'm not... I'm actually just angry and frustrated and I think there's a difference. However, I will take your greeting as a compliment. I do hate the world and most things in it but what the fuck, we've all got to have a hobby haven't we?
I must thank you for your review of Victims on your site. Very kind. I appreciate that and I'm glad you enjoyed it. If you read any of the others then let me know what you thought. On the subject of 90's Club/trance music, Pete... er... I don't think I'd know trance if I was in one to be honest... some club music is ok (I flick music channels with my 15 year old daughter sometimes... ) but I couldn't actually name you any artists I'm afraid. Anyway, thanks again for the review and for the kind words and I'm glad you like the rants... take care..

Hi again, Shaun.
Thanks for answering my previous question. It's a shame that no one wants to make any movies based on your books.
The horror genre could definitely use something different and a little more imaginative to break it out of it's rut of sequels and un-necessary remakes. Most of the decent horror stuff seems to be foreign nowadays, but you can guarantee that if a half decent foreign horror movie comes out it will inevitably get a Hollywood revamp. usually inferior to the original. Out of all the recent horror films in the last ten years or so which have stood out for you and what would you say is your favourite?
Also, am I the only fan of yours to ask you if we're ever gonna find out what happened after the end of Relics? I would read it. even if it was just another short story and I'm sure others would too.
Anyway, thanks again... looking forward to the next book. See ya!
Mark

Yes I agree about most decent modern horror films being foreign and I also hate the fact that Hollywood then has to re-make them. I thought LET THE RIGHT ONE IN was very good and much better than it's re-make. I was also very impressed with REC, BURIED (independent, not a big studio picture I think) and INSIDIOUS. I must admit though that I thought the remakes of THE HILLS HAVE EYES and THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE were actually good. Other than those and films like THE ORPHANAGE (foreign again!) I'd be struggling to find any new horror films that have really impressed me. The FINAL DESTINATION series are ok but I don't like the SAW franchise and all these re-makes (the one of FRIGHT NIGHT is not too bad however) leave me cold. No fucking imagination I'm afraid Mark. The same old story. They'd rather not take a chance on something different. As for what happens at the end of RELICS... er... the world is destroyed... didn't I make that clear enough with my sledgehammer style? I didn't mean to confuse people (I was young then... ) but that's what happens. Dagda (the God of the Druids) rises and the world ends... the usual happy finale to one of my books. How's that?...

Hi Shaun,
I put entertainment in inverted commas as, being a Norwich fan, I'm expecting us to spend fuck all (not being proved too wrong so far) and basically get arse- fucked most week by non- entities like Bolton and Everton, take our medicine, clear our debts and go down with a whimper!!
Anyway, the crux of my e-mail is.... How do you think your boys will fare this season, Can we have Dani Pacheco back for the season please? and do you fancy meeting a coup;le of like minded grumpy sods (i.e. me and my brother (who incidentally was at Maiden on Saturday)) for a pint or two prior to your famous victory at Carrow Road later in the season?
Keep up the excellent work (books, website, etc.)
Regards,
Simon Huggins,
Reedham, Norfolk.

It's still too early in the season to be worrying I reckon but you know your team better than I do I watched your game against West Brom on Sky and I thought you played well but that means nothing if you get beat does it?...
I'm really not sure what Liverpool will do this season. I went to Stoke on Saturday and thought we should have won but how many teams have said that coming away from bloody Stoke? Very kind of you to invite me for a drink before our game against your boys. I like the city, my mum and dad used to take me there when we went on holiday to Yarmouth when I was a kid. I wasn't miserable in those days! Hard to believe I know... No doubt it'll be on TV at some Godforsaken time which will fuck everyone's plans up but drop me another line nearer the time... we play you at Anfield in a few weeks don't we... ? Take care...

Hey shaun leigh ryan here, I did send some shit to you about 3-4 weeks ago but I guess as you didn't print it it must have been extra shite! Anyway mate glad your finally about it seems your web site was pretty quiet for a while I thought you had been either shot or gone to prison either way your well fucked.
I just wanted to say I agreed with everything you was saying re so called celebs ie kerry cunt catona is a drug whore who sucks cock for a gram wrap I think we should form some kind of vigilante groups who go round to all these z listers who think they are some one, lets taser the cunts then round them all up in a field and bomb the basterds. On the subject of celebs I went to see a real live proper mega star NEIL DIAMOND what a fantastic concert 2 solid hrs of a man over 60 singing LIVE (take note ms cole you useless bitch) all that spoilt it was the fucking incessant people going back and forth o the toilets. Do what I do and piss before you go in then hold it for 2 hrs you ignoramus fuck pigs either that or going out to the bar for a drink Christ all mighty it can ruin a mans enjoyment SIT FUCKING STILL!!!!
Anyway that's a real star bet no body from x factor will still be around as long. Maybe leona lewis might she is bloody brilliant when is your next book out and whats it called and why for the love of god cant we buy new books in fucking paper back? Is it so you greedy authers can earn more from us hard up poor sods lets hope this rant makes the fucking grade
leigh.

I've replied to your first rant earlier on, mate and I agree totally with your sentiments too... on the subject of paperbacks you'll be delighted to know that my next offering comes out in paperback in October. TWINS OF EVIL, the novelization of the 70's Hammer film is out in paperback only so have a look and see what you think...
Right, that's me done for another month. Fucking car is playing up again so I am off to the garage to fork out an exorbitant amount of money to prevent my brakes going!... maybe I should just take a chance...

August

Hello Shaun,
Listening in Canada, to men's final on 'Radio Wimbledon' (Don't have a telly), trawling through my 'favorite' book sellers on eBay and came across some of your early books, included were a few of Richard Howard's with your name parenthesised, recalling the fuss and muss of 'are you or are you not?'
I spent a little while going through your site to see if you had answered this fast becoming age old question, the only recent reference was of you 'sharing' the same publisher... that's about the same as saying Tetley and P.G.Tips share the same generic!
So, do you use the name Richard Howard for some of your writing..? If you do, would you please put out a few more volumes of the series, and if you do not... please clear up the issue by answering the question with a simple yes or no.
All the best,
Robert B.

Yes you're quite right Robert, I could stop all the speculation about me being Richard Howard by saying yes or no but I thought I'd already done that... you'll be asking me to own up to being J.K. Rowling next... go on, I admit it and Harry Potter and the Chainsaw of Doom is out next week... in which Harry and Ron have a twos up with Hermione while Hagrid shags a basilisk and Dumbledore plaits his beard... (I'm actually quite ashamed I can remember so many bloody names from those books and films...) Hope that's answered your question Robert...

Hey Shaun.
Sorry about your accident life's a bitch isn't it?
Have you heard this disgusting news about the cunts known as the BBFC banning The Human Centipede 2? Maybe it's me but i don't really like the idea of upper class bastards dictating what I can watch. What the fuck happened to freedom of speech in this country? Is freedom still legal in Britain? I mean where do these fuckers get off telling the public what they can and can't watch? if It doesn't break some fundamental supposed law like murder, animal cruelty ( I still reckon old films that depicted animal cruelty should still be passed uncut) or paedophilia I feel I should be able to watch what the fuck I feel like and make up my own mind. Pricks.
I see talentless ''celebrities'' are still taking up worthy space in newspapers and stealing oxygen. You would think the public would get tired of being told who they should like and care about. I guess not. Don't people think for themselves in this day and age?
Also feminists are at it again bitching about pornography,, can we men just be ourselves without feminists or other twats forcing their opinions on us on us and trying to make us feel guilty for just being born with testicles? If I want to watch porn who the fuck has the right to tell me I shouldn't? The way this country is going there will be no freedom left just an Orwellian society.
But my post isn't all doom and gloom.
I have to say I fucking loved Lucy's Child. That novel was everything I look for in a horror novel: interesting plot, great shocks, balls to the wall mayhem and effective chills. What more can you ask for? Maybe Stephanie Meyer should take notes on how to properly write an novel. I got some more novels of yours in my ever growing to read pile and can't wait to get around to reading them. I fucking love your work man.
Take care.
Sincerely
James Miles,
A long time fan and proud

James... good to hear from you again and thanks for your concern about my accident... I saw that Human Centipede 2 is to be banned in this country and I agree with you that we should all be allowed to watch what we want to watch without someone telling us we can or can't. It's the idea that we're all helpless children who need to be instructed by more enlightened beings that fucks me off. It's the same as the idea of the test audience reaction being used to decide how films are edited in the States. The very idea that a group of 200 random people's opinions will be used to decide the ending of a film makes me seethe and I understand the moans with the BBFC. Once a film's got a certificate then anyone of the right age should be allowed to watch it... mind you, if Human Centipede 2 was anything like the first one then they haven't really deprived us of the new Citizen Kane have they but that's not the point... if you're going to ban films for their lack of artistic merit then that means anything made by Michael Bay (Transformers) and Roland Emmerich (Independence Day) should be binned along with the films of dozens of other directors... the porn thing is a bit different I think but feminists seem to forget that it's the girls who are the stars in these things... how many male porn stars could you name? I could reel off half a dozen female porn stars (which probably tells you too much about me to be honest...) I know there's the underground stuff that's pretty fucking vile and I fail to see how anyone can get off watching people shitting on each other but again, whatever flicks your switch... (I think I'll stop there on that subject as my almost encyclopaedic knowledge of porn is beginning to become a bit embarrassing...) I did have a rant about this a while back and it just proves again that people should keep their noses out of others business. As long as no one is hurt by what's going on then basically mind your own fucking business... I find having to look at Cher Lloyd, Kerry Katona, Jedward and Peter Andre offensive but no one considers my point of view do they..? and to answer your question, no, people don't think for themselves... Anyway, glad you like the books and I appreciate your comments so, until next time, take care mate...

Hiya Shaun, I have just read that you never recieved the parcel I sent via your publishers, I got the address off your web site at the time so I assume it was right. The picture took weeks to make and cost quite a bit too, it was a cross stitch picture of the 4 Sean Doyle book covers so I can't do it again. It was a big parcel in grey wrapping marked fragile. I am really annoyed that you never got it because there isn't another one like it in the world. Now Waterstones have been taken over by a Russian millionair you might get up to Birmingham again soon,you never know.
love Val

Val, I am gutted not to have got that thing you made for me... unfortunately if the publishers never forwarded it then I've got no way of finding it and all I can say is sorry all your hard work went to waste. I bet if it had been a collage of Twilight book covers I'd have got the fucking thing... in the meantime, I hope you're well. I didn't know Waterstones had been taken over by a Russian millionaire... its not Roman Abramovich is it... ha, ha... anyway, thanks again and sorry once more that all your work went to waste, I appreciate the thought though Val...

You probably don't remember me, but we spoken through e-mail, a couple of years ago.
I am a huge fan of your books, unfortunately just 2 of your masterpieces are translated to norwegian, which I find frustrating and sad.
I have now contacted a big publisher in Norway, Cappelen, in desperate hope to get through. They have ex. Dean Koontz and several other crim-writers which they translate, so the genre should not be an issue. Hopefully they see the greatness of your books, they are awesome.
Have a good summer, and hopefully I can put my eyes into a translated Shaun Hutson book again soon.
your sincerely
Inge Gjersoe
Norway

Hello, Inge and thanks for your kind comments and also for your attempts to get a Norwegian publisher interested in my work... let me know how it goes and hopefully you will be able to read my stuff in your native language once again... many thanks...

Hiya Shaun I expect you get loads of grovelling emails from fans every day so if you don?t mind indulging me, I'll add one to your list.
I've had a really bad couple of months culminating in my mothers death on June 28th and I just wanted to say that reading your Shaun's Shit columns have made me laugh so much, I love the rants; music banter,football rage and all; just brilliant. We share the same interests; Dave (my husband) and I although both hail from Manchester, are Reds, the right shade! Only two footy teams in this dump, Man City and Man City reserves. The other crap isn?t football; its a pansy arsed soap opera.
Musically, he's more like you and he's off to see the Irons later this month, I like them but my tastes have mellowed a bit with age (43!!! aargh!) so Journey, Foreigner and Styx did me just fine on the last tour.
I felt the sap rise when I read about the serial numbers on rifles offending Muslims, tough innit? Our lads shouldn?t even be out there; not our war.
Anyhow, thanks for all the books, endless hours of blissful escapism and many thanks for putting the smile back on my face, you diamond!
Regards
Caz Bailey

Caz and grovelling e-mails... Caz, every e-mail is appreciated and if someone wants to tell me how wonderful I am then that's even better so go ahead and massage my ego... I'm very sorry to hear about your mum, you have my sincerest condolences and I am absolutely delighted that my mindless ranting went some very small way to putting a smile on your face... it amazes me how people seem to find comfort and humour in my psychotic ramblings but I'm glad they do. I tend to find that things like SOUTH PARK or FATHER TED cheer me up a bit when I'm particularly down. Maybe that shit about laughter being the best medicine is slightly true but I'm not sure. If you gave someone with a migraine a boxed set of ONLY FOOLS AND HORSES instead of paracetomol would it be as useful? I doubt it... sorry about that... Hope your hubby enjoys Iron maiden and I'm glad you enjoyed your more mellow stuff ("I want to know what love is"... great song...) No doubt with the football season on the verge of starting again I'll be launching into a few footie rants too... what can you do..? You and your husband take care, Caz...

Heya Shaun,
Recently wrote to you having a wee rant about your publishers, did kinda wonder why you hadn't picked up on the opportunity to rant about the idiots who insist on publishing washed up celebs rather than the real grafters of the writing world like yourself.
However...
I now notice that you're signed up through random house publishing with *drumroll* Hammer Publishing... so come on Shaun spill the beans, how and when did hammer move beyond movies and how did you end up there? and why the hell did me and my bored little fingers and a keyboard manage to get this info before the news section of the website? (sideways glance in Gray's direction at this point haha)
Naturally as your sticking with Horror and not moving into celeb ghost writing this won't have been a massive money move but I'd like to be the first to say I'm Chuffed that the new book is pegged for October as it's always a shit month and now I've got both yours and Sir Terry Pratchetts latest offerings to keep me entertained.
I'll get to the main point now though mate, are all your new books going to be Paperback only? I notice the new one doesn't have a hardback release, and as your with a horror genre publishers does this mean the latest Shaun Doyle encounter will be shelved as they moved primarily into the thriller genre after renegades? (OK I accept that hybrid was technically a horror, but only because your old publishers were wankers and made you fuck around with the Doyle story so it fitted what they wanted and not what us (your readers) wanted.
Sorry I'll stop ranting about Time Warner and their affiliates and leave you to get back to Cineworld... any recommendations by the way? you've not posted any since last year and I'm running out of new music and movies (thanks for the Shinedown mention last year played all 3 albums to death for the last 12 months)
Best of Luck with Hammer Mate, hope you are recovering well from the accident had one myself fell 25 feet off a shop staircase and landed on my head, 60 stitches, 3 hours in A&E no concussion nothing broken, no sense no feeling! right as rain now but with a 9" ragged scar to show the future Grandkids (and no I'm not suing, it was my own fault for sitting on the rail if I'd been killed I wouldn't be able to breed and therefore one less idiot to have kids - Lets get back to Darwin's survival of the fittest shall we and bugger health and safety!)
Definitely off now
Woody The Baggies Fan - Boing Boing we finally beat you after 20 years ;-)

Woody... fuck me, you write more than I do, mate... good to hear from you again. Just to clear one thing up, Woody, the reason that you found out this news before Graeme is down to me... the poor bastard tries to run the site (and does a fucking amazing job of it) with very little help from me mainly because I forget things or just neglect to tell him so if there's anything wrong with the info on the site it's down to me not Graeme. Yes I signed to Hammer for three books mainly because of the reasons I gave last month I think (see, forgot that too...) I just really wanted to be associated with Hammer in some way shape or form and there was fuck all else about either so I thought why not. The books will all be in paperback as far as I know Woody (if they really are going to do all their back catalogue then doing them in hardback and paperback would be a huge undertaking and not all will have a mass appeal... as for Sean Doyle... I haven't got a clue what will happen to the old bastard. I actually wrote the opening of a new book with him in, maybe I should get Graeme to stick it on the site because I fear that's the only place it'll ever see the light of day... by the way, how's your head? Fell off a fucking staircase... Jesus Woody, I know you were surprised to beat Liverpool but control yourself... take care, mate...

Hey good to have you back mate, not much to say as I think I agree with everything you said yea kerry katona is a drug whore who should be fucking shot on live tv as for all the other useless cunts lets round them all up and put them in a field and bomb the basterds!!!!! Anyway its been far to long I havnt read anything from you for quite some time, iv had to contend with some of my other fave authers like jack higgins clive cussler chris ryan mcnab etc so whats new out from you and when ps going to see a real singer megastar called neil diamond lets see if anyone from fucking shit factor will still be going strong in 60 yrs apart from leona lewis who just happens to have a voice and and arse like an angel.
Leigh ryan

Leigh... glad you enjoy the rants and it's nice to know there's someone else who agrees with me... I agree with you about Neil Diamond and the Z Factor no marks... the little twat who won it last year has got a fucking book out... ! Leona Lewis arse of an angel... I'll google her and check but around in 60 years I doubt it, mind you, I probably won't be here to check so... all the best mate...

What ho,
I don't suppose you would even think to hear from this old git anymore, but thought I would drop you a line. Recently moved to the Algarve after too long rocking and rolling.
Years ago long before we moved we had loads stuff in storage. Well I recently unpacked it all and found "Victims", which you kindly signed for me, that was when I worked on the Harp Beat sponsorship, remember? It is now pride of place on the bookshelf.
If you ever fancy a holiday let us know.
Cheers
Ray

Ray Pocock... I remember you only too well, mate... that copy of Victims you found in storage was signed around the time you got me backstage at Marillion's gig at the Milton Keynes bowl... you introduced me to Robin George... do you remember that? Hope it's all going well for you out in the Algarve, Ray... a holiday eh..? keep in touch, mate...

Hey, Shaun.
This will be quick, but the July 2011 rant was spot fuckin on. I couldn't have said it better myself. Fuckin excellence mate. Well apart from the compliments regarding Lady BlahBlah.
Oh just to cheer you up I am a 90's ( born 1989) but I detest this modern culture and I fuckin love Iron Maiden and Hammer, so not all is lost
I do have a quick question, writing related: How do you acquire the permission to use copyrighted lyrics in your novels?
I also have to agree with you about Vampires Twilight ruined them, what the fuck happened to the days of Near Dark? Well Let Me In was fucking great, thank you Hammer.
Oh is it me or does the song So What by Anti Nowhere League remind you of talentless celebrities who need be exterminated?
Peace.
Sincerely
James Miles

James... you asked how I acquired permission to use lyrics in my books... er... I didn't to be honest... When most of them were written I was around that rock scene (oh, God that sounds so fucking pretentious... sorry...) and lots of the bands actually read my books so no one complained if lyrics turned up in one of my novels... I'd probably have to get permission if I wanted to use Take That lyrics in a book but the chances of that are about as likely as me dedicating a novel to fucking Cheryl Cole so... I once asked Rod Smallwood (Iron Maiden manager) if they wanted me to pay for using some Maiden lyrics and he said give us what you think... what a fine man... I really think it depends on whose lyrics you're going to use... Near Dark, now that was a bloody good vampire film, I'd forgotten that one... let's hope that Hammer want to go back to the kind of thing that made them famous (mind you, Daniel Radcliffe is in one of their upcoming films so... we'll see...) I'm sure they know what they're doing... So What by the Anti-Nowhere League/Metallica is a fucking wonderful song... I'd have it played at my funeral if possible... take care, James...

just read my first book by you. twisted souls - was quite good - I seem to recall that Steven King dropped your name when asked who his favourite author was. Was it you?
Weird writing love it as I am weird too well must be as I am a die hard West Ham supporter - I know no hope is there.
In the middle of second book (2 in five days) Necessary Evil and I really like this one. You don't waste words on florally stuff which is good. Hate it when author describes to a T what the meal consisted of and how it was served or how the restaurant is described. As far as Im concerned that is just filling out a page when the author has hit a mind block.
Your style is good, like sitting there listening to you tell a story
Well done will over time plow my way through your books.
Cheers
Elaine Gaffney
p.s. The area at Upton Park is the boleyn not boylen (necessary evil)
I know, picky picky picky

Elaine... firstly let me apologise for spelling the name of The Irons ground wrong... you weren't being picky you were rightfully telling me off. I've been there enough times to know better... sorry... I've always had a soft spot for West Ham but I'm sure you'll come straight back up to the Premier league (fingers crossed...) On other subjects, I can't imagine Stephen King dropped my name as his favourite author... nice if he did but I can't imagine it... where do you think you saw this? I'm glad you like my writing style, I've never been too keen on overdoing the details, to me the story is the most important thing, keep it moving at all costs... let me know what you think if you read any of my other books...

Hi Shaun, hope you don't mind me dropping you a line, but stumbled upon your website the other night and your hilarious rants renewed my passion for your work so much that I went and purchased Epitaph and Last Rites. Your work is hard to come by where I live. I don't have a question or anything, just wanted to say I've been a huge fan of you and your genre since I was running 'round in Pampers. It'd be pretty cool to see some of your masterpieces put onto a cinema screen. Deadhead and Erebus are, in my humble opinion, your greates work and it would be great to see the movie adaptions. Surely somebody would want to mke them, right? Oh, and I am also an Arsenal supporter.
James.

James... nothing wrong with you being an Arsenal fan, mate... someone has to be and at least your lot will be in the Champions League this season so I've got no room to criticise have I..? glad you like the rants and the books and I agree with you that DEADHEAD and EREBUS would make excellent films but it's never going to happen is it? Still, we can all dream...

I fucking loved the 20th July edition of Shaun's Shit, it was a hell of read.
So I finally got around to sitting through the Slugs movie, and to be perfectly honest it was fuckin dog shit. I enjoyed the book but the film was, cheap and sleazy (and not in a good way) the acting was beyond fuckin atrocious. It is a shame that the only movie adapted from any of your novels (what the fuck is that all about? As the majority of your books would make fucking excellent films) is that piece of rectal sewage.
Oh in my last email I sent I made ridiculous mistake, I meant to write ''I am a'90's kid ( born 1989)'' not just ''I am a 90's ( born 1989)'' sleep deprivation is a bitch.
I recently read Body Count and fucking loved it, I devoured that novel in two days as it was so fuckin brilliant. I loved the motivation of the antagonist and I loved how the protagonist was a no bullshit hard case. Great fucking book.
Well that's all I wanted to say.
Peace.
Sincerely
James Miles.

Another James... I'm guessing this is another James or else you've written to me three times in a month (which I appreciate I have to say but there must be better things for you to do...) I taped SLUGS when it was on the horror channel just so my daughter could see it... (and she hadn't even been naughty...) Yes it was shit but then I had nothing to do with it. Mind you, I wish Hollywood would turn all my books into shit films having paid me millions for them, I would then be complaining from a hammock on a beach in the Caribbean... that's why it annoys me when writers moan about adaptations of their work... everyone knows that what ends up on screen will bear no resemblance to the book but who cares if you got paid enough to soften the blow..?

Hi! My name is Pawel PIetrzak and I live in Poland. We have only four of your books published here and all of them in early 90's, so there aren't many chances to read your new texts. Fortunately we still have your quotes from your net site. Thank you for this.
Recently I created a fan page on FACEBOOK (it's titled SHAUN HUTSON'S FANS) and there are 7 people liking it. Not much, I jnow but there will be more. I hope :) Take a look by yourself.
And the question? Are there any chances to read your new books in Polish?
Greetings
Pawel PS Sorry for my English...

Hello Pawel, and don't worry about your English, my Polish is useless too... Any chance of my books being in Polish? I doubt it although I did have an enquiry from a Polish editor not long ago so you never know. Keep your fingers crossed and thank s for starting the Facebook page...

Hi
I feel really cheeky asking as I appreciate you must get asked all the time and there's only so much you can give. I'm arranging a charity auction to raise money for breast cancer as my ma is battling the disease and we would love to be able to give something back to the hospitals who undoubtedly saved her life. All the proceeds will go to the Chyrelle Addams Breast Cancer trust (charity number 1125256)
If there is anything you would be able to donate to help it would be so great fully received.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and I look forward to hearing from you in the near future.
Kind Regards
Leanne

Hello, Leanne... I would love to give something for you to auction (not that it would fetch much I fear...) but all I can offer are signed books I'm afraid. I'm glad your mum is coping ok and I hope she's soon back to full health... if a signed book is any good to you then let me know again via the site... take care...

Hi Shaun, Ben here. Just wondering as a Bill Hicks fan, are you also into Denis Leary? Or are you one of those who hate him for allegedly 'copying' Hicks?
benjamin Kelly

Ben... yes I loved Bill Hicks but I don't hate Denis Leary even though some of his material was quite similar... I've got a couple of his DVD's (Lock and Load and No cure for Cancer) and I really like them. You can't help the comparisons between the two comedians especially the smoking gags but I don't think that Denis Leary is quite as derivative of Bill as a lot of people think. Both were 'angry' comics but Bill was a bit more passionate I think (yes I know I'm biased...) I think he wanted to genuinely point out how fucked up the world was whereas I think Denis Leary was more intent on shocking people but he's still a very funny man. But for me there will never be another Bill Hicks...
Right, that's it once again. Keep the questions coming and I'll keep trying to answer them. Football season starts next Saturday so at least I'll have one thing a week to look forward to... any football fans reading this I hope you enjoy the season too (unless you support the Mancs, Chelsea, Spurs, Newcastle... etc. etc.) Anyway, I'm off to see SUPER 8... I'll let you know what I thought next time...

July


I'm back again with more answers to your questions and, as ever, thanks for asking them, I appreciate your interest...

Hi Shaun, I hope this finds you well, and the week is moving in the right direction.
I'm a composer of music for film, media (etc etc) based in Buckinghamshire, and I've been meaning to contact you for a while about the possibility of putting together an audio book with narration, music, sound FX etc - and I wondered if it may be something you'd be collaboratively interested in.
I think your material would really work well, because most audio books are pretty banal. It would be great to do something with a bit of clout in the material, - and of course you have a absolute mine of material to choose from.
I've done music and sound design for several feature films, and I annually put together the soundtrack for FILM4 Frightfest in London (I've enclosed a couple of links at the bottom of the mail to various bits of work so far)
Best wishes to you, and sincere regards for a positive rest-of-the-week.
Dave Andrews
http://www.reverbnation.com/two13
http://www.two13dotcom.blogspot.com/

I agree Dave, they are pretty banal, just an actor reading the manuscript, I've often thought that they could be jazzed up with music or sound effects (like those BBC sound effects records you used to be able to get... I don't know if they ever did one for 'guts being pulled out') but it's an interesting idea. I'll pass it on to my agent if that's ok, especially as some of the older books have been allowed to go out of print I reckon there's some stuff to be done...

Heya Shaun,
Sorry it's been a while mate it's woody the baggies fan, bored at work with the sun blazing in April who wants to buy a fireplace just before Easter in 22 degree heat?? i must be mad, anyway first off i don't intend to gloat as it is the only time we've beaten your boys in the last 30 years but what the hey... BOING BOING!! hehe
Hope things are not going too badly for you mate, it does seem like there's even more ghost written shite being stuffed into bookstores with the plastic face of the latest celebrity boob job stuck on the front, it's no wonder companies like waterstones are struggling, there's nothing in there for us to buy!
On that subject I do think it's about time your publishers got you back into the general public consciousness as well as your loyal following's and into the bookstores along with a trolley of your back catalogue, a few bits of cardboard with a bit of blurb telling people about your books (although i think a stand with your image might frighten off even a few of the die hards) Not sure how they expect new readers to find you when they've all but confined you're presence to dusty stockrooms. In fact fuck it... bring somebody from your publisher's marketing department along so i can shove their suit up their arse on your behalf.
Even if you can't do a funded trip, it'd be nice if you could get away from your computer screen and from Cineworld for a couple of days to drop into Brum again for another mineral water and a laugh at the sppoky bloke in the toilets with the aftershave and the teeth! The folks from the discussion board would love another get together I'm sure of it.
Right rant over, back to my copy of Last Rites methinks, looking forward to the next book, how's the new Doyle novel coming along? As you know I'll be glad to advance read it for you if you require (never hurts to be a cheeky fucker does it?)
Take care Shaun, all the best, hope to see you soon as I still need these hardback war novels signing (I can't post em to you, I don't trust Royal Mail and it took me 6 years to find em all)
Regards
Woody

Go on Woody, enjoy your triumph, your lot deserved it that afternoon at the Hawthorns, I thought you were by far the better side too... we were fucking awful in the first half (sorry to all non-football fans here...) and Reina was by far the busiest keeper of the two so I'll put up with your gloating... I reckon your lot must be pretty happy with the job Roy Hodgson did at Albion, he was just the wrong guy in the wrong place with us, I think the position was a bit too much for him, still, let's see what happens this coming season. On the writing front (ha, ha...) I'm doing novelizations of 3 Hammer films, I've already done Twins of Evil and am waiting for the other two but don't know what they'll be yet. Could be as far back as the 50's but I loved those films so much I couldn't say no when they asked and I haven't had any decent ideas for new books of my own for fucking ages so thought why not? Maybe one day I'll be able to sign those for you just like all the other stuff you want signing but I wouldn't hold your breath, mate... anyway, good luck for the coming season and it's nice to hear from you again...

Hi
I've read all the Shaun Hutson novels and really enjoyed them, all the twists and turns, White Ghost springs to mind I was in Northern Ireland 1991-1993 (served with The Ulster Defence Regiment) have you been there? Also when you have an idea for a book, silly question do you start at the begining or find the ending first, people, places etc.
Kind regards
Liz

Liz, glad to know you enjoyed the books, especially the Sean Doyle ones. I have been to Northern Ireland a few times for book related things in the past and I was there on and off in the late 80's and early 90's when things were bad. I'm always glad when people who lived through that time tell me that the Doyle books are accurate for catching the mood and atmosphere of 'the troubles' (always seems like a strangely patronising term for what happened there but what do I know...) You must have seen some pretty scary stuff having been in the UDR... As far as creating a book goes, I used to start with one scene in my head or one single central idea and then build the book around it. Sometimes I knew the end before I started writing, sometimes I hadn't got a clue how I was going to end things but I always worked them out in a detailed plan before I started so I knew what was going to happen. Horror and thrillers have to be very tightly plotted if they're going to work so you have to know where you are at all times when you're writing (sounds obvious I know but things get confusing sometimes...) it all gets worked out in the research and planning beforehand and then you just sit down and write it... hopefully...

Hi Shaun. Just received epitaph in paper back and sat down with great anticipation to read it! This may seem a trivial complaint, but lo and behold, no acknowledgements!!!! I was sooo disappointed. I love reading all your thankyous to one and all. These first pages really get me in the right mood to start your books. What happened!? Oh well, I'm sure you have good reason! Hope the next one hasn't them missed out. Til next time. Keep up the great writing!!!
Lots of love.
Denice Andrews xxx

Denice... sorry there were no acknowledgements in Epitaph, that was my fault. I forgot! By the time I'd remembered I hadn't done them the book was too close to printing to change... I know lots of people like reading them so maybe I should just print them on their own... hope it won't spoil your enjoyment of Epitaph though and, as ever, it's good to hear from you...

Shaun
blea bla bla, I've been a big fan of your books for many years, so this year after reading a few books I decide to get a Kindle, fuck!! theres more guts in Brian May's trebble booster than this plastic thingy, so getting to the fucking point, no hold on!! I'm gonna suck in a deep breath!!!, I live in Bedford and whilst watching Arsenel getting fucked over by Villa I thought, shit, I've always wanted that old rocker Shaun to sign a book for me, shit but now Ive a Kindle, I've never been so bemused, well I have, and that was sitting in Leicester railway station in the early eighties late at night after watching Judas Priest at De Momfort with a 'new support act' called Iron Maiden!!.
Shit I'll cut the crap, can I meet you in MK sometime to sign my bloody Kindle !!!
Cheers bud
Marty

Marty... so you've got a kindle have you? I must say, the bloody things don't appeal to me at all. I hate fucking technology at the best of times and I suppose when I sign one it'll have to be in marker pen not good old biro! Still, if there's any way I will sign yours one day, mate... Maiden supporting Judas Priest... now there's a double bill I think we'd all like to see again. I noticed Priest were touring briefly with Queensryche supporting and maiden start the British leg of their tour pretty soon now. Wow, the eighties... happy days...

Hi shaum im nigel a very big fan of yours is ebig fan of yours read all your books except epitath. trying to get hold of that now not easy. just finished reading last rights loved it. dont have a favourite all your books are excellant love them all.
nigel booth

Nigel, thanks for the kind comments on my books, always appreciated...

Shaun, where are you??!!!!!!!! You've not updated your website since august last year!!!!! Getting a bit worried now. Check you site everyday but nothing. Hope you are ok!!!
Lots of love
Denice Andrews xxx

Hello again, Denice... I'm really sorry the site hasn't been updated that's all my fault but hopefully there's something new on there now... not much just me rambling on about various things and trying to explain what's happening... thanks for your concern. It's very touching that people are interested in what I'm up to/whether I'm dead etc... thankyou again and thanks to everyone who's asked and shown interest...

Hi,Shaun,
Still a Reds fan eh?Lets hope King Kenny does the biz,and gets us back into Europe.By the way.when is a new book planned?
Kind regards,
Cherry.

Cherry... of course I'm still a Reds fan... always will be. I hope Kenny gets us back in Europe too but not in the bloody Europa League, I think we're better off missing out on that. It used to make me laugh when the announcer used to say before each game how it was a major European competition and how it gave us the opportunity to see the best players in Europe... er... well maybe not the very best... but still, most other teams would kill to be in it it's just that we're used to better at Liverpool aren't we? The next book will be a novelization of the old Hammer film Twins of Evil but I think you'll notice my own stamp on it... it's out in October...

Hey Shaun.
I last wrote to you to describe my hate for celebrity culture and my love of movies. If there's one thing I really hate, it's how the general public are obsessed about talentless celebrities like Cheryl Cole and yet do not give a fuck about people who actually have talent. I have a huge respect for film directors, for example, and I usually do not watch a film without looking at the director's other work. However, I do not give a fuck about their private lives.
However, the celebrity obsessed public seem to not even realise or give a fuck that they exist. People are much more interested in what Cheryl Cole does with her hair than say, the fact Guillermo del Toro, who in my opinion is one of the most talented filmmakers on Earth, has not been able to direct a film for three years due to studios not giving him financial backing, wheras they give talent less filmmakers like Jonathan Liebsman hundreds of millions of dollars to direct shit like Battle: Los Angeles.
I'm not saying that people should worship directors like they do talent less celebrities, I'm just saying that they should give them a little more respect and recognision.
Another thing that really pisses me off is how Hollywood is desperately trying to turn everything down to a family friendly PG-13 rating so that they can make the largest amount of money possible. People like the Twilight films so much, for example, although they have no gore in swearing in them (I'm guessing that people who like the Twilight films probably don't even know or give a fuck who directed them) Seriously, what is the appeal vampire movies with no gore or swearing? I also despise the fact that Hollywood is forcing directors to tone down a film's content against their will. For example, it is highly unlikely that the Coen brothers wanted True Grit to be rated PG-13, and similarly Zack Snyder (I know you hated Watchmen but I think he's really talented) was forced to cut Sucker Punch down to PG-13. I know that Sucker Punch was shit anyway, but the director should be able to make a film in anyway they want and not how the studio demands them to make it. In America they even released a raped PG-13 version of The King's Speech after the relese of the R rated version again the cast and crew's will.
What Hollywood does not seem to realise is that these films will make more money if they had R ratings as people will want to see a film more if it has adult content in it. What do you think about this?
By the way, some of my favourite films of all time are anything directed by Martin Scorsese, anything directed by Paul Thomas Anderson, anything directed by Guillermo del Toro, anything directed by David Cronenberg, anything directed by Darren Arronofsky, The Godfather movies, Che Parts 1 and 2, Gladiator, My Left Foot, In the Name of the Father, Oldboy, Tim Burton's Sweeney Todd, The Last of the Mohicans, the George A Romero's zombie movies, Avatar (I know you hated it but I really enjoyed it), Peter Jackson's Braindead, Apocalypse Now, The Dark Knight, Inception and Momento, Schlindler's List, the Star Wars and Lord of the Rings movies, Audition and Scarface (shame about the way Brian Del Palma's career has gone recently)
P.S. could you please clarify this for me? What the fuck is it with celebrity endorsement. I seriously do not understand how seeing a celebrity use a product, no matter how much you like them, will make you want to buy that product. And is it just me or does it really piss you off when the media refers to famous people by their first names?
Oh and lastly, I was very glad to see that Cheryl Cole was dumped from the American version of The X Factor. It seems that there is still life on this planet.
Thanks, David

David... a man after my own heart... all I can say is I agree with everything you say, mate. It really is like bashing your fucking head on a wall when you see this constant public obsession with talentless celebrities and it's only going to get worse... and I agree with the point about film makers. Guillermo Del Toro is a very talented director but talent doesn't seem to matter much in any sphere these days. I also agree with you about Battle Los Angeles being shite but it probably made a fucking fortune because people would rather sit and watch shit like that than a picture like Pan's Labyrinth! It breaks my heart when I sit in a packed cinema watching shit like Transformers 3 and then go and see something like The Conspirator where there are 3 people in the whole fucking cinema. No one wants intelligent film making anymore... the target audience is 12-25 so noisy, brainless, simple, flashy and pointless will always win over intelligent, sophisticated, complex and original. Apparently one in three films released this year is either a remake, sequel or prequel. Most of the others are based on fucking video games or are star vehicles... it makes me fucking sick... On the point about directors I don't think they're allowed the kind of freedom they were in the 60's and 70's when some of the truly great films were made. Films are all about producers now and they're not creative, they just have an eye for the big bucks so everything is tailored to box office and marketing, not to quality. Also, the audience attention span is so fucking short these days (one of the reasons we rarely get opening credits anymore... no one can wait for the fucking film, they don't want to know who made it they just want to see the action...) that scripts don't take the time to build up characters and complex plots etc. Also, a lot of the younger directors worked in music videos so they can't keep a camera still for more than two fucking seconds at a time... the Coen brothers and David Fincher are exceptions thank God. I love the Coen brothers stuff, so original but I agree with you about True Grit, should have been... well... er... 'grittier' (sorry...) and I doubt that many of the target audience would have been bothered about it anyway (it was mostly older people when I saw it both times...) I fully agree with you that people want to see films with more adult content but always in the film companies minds is that irritating fucking fact that there target audience is a bunch of fucking kids (and morons) who don't want to think and have to be spoon fed information so the odd times when a film is released that actually requires some thought (for instance THE TREE OF LIFE which I saw the other day...) it's treated as a bit on oddity. To be honest David, I could go on about this for pages and pages and I agree with everything you've said but unfortunately it's like banging your head on a wall... On the celebrity endorsement thing what really annoys me is not that the public are dumb enough to want a product because some Z-list fucking no-mark advertises it but that these bastards are getting fortunes to do the ads. Film stars advertising products... give me a fucking break, not making enough money from your film careers you fucking whores? Got to get even more by trying to flog us face cream, coffee or perfume? You have to blame the advertisers first. Those jobs should be going to up and coming actors or models not to fuckers who already earn so much they never need to work again, it's sickening... And yes it was wonderful to see Cheryl Cole dumped from American X Factor but it isn't going to harm her fucking career or bank balance, she'll just rake more cash in selling her story because the morons who 'love' her will want to know why she was treated so 'badly'... I fucking give up... Anyway, it's great to hear from you, David and to know that someone else shares my feelings as I know so many of my readers do... Jesus, if only the world was comprised of people like us, ones who could think... I suppose I can dream... take care, mate.

Heya, Shaun!
Love all your books. I can't believe more of them haven't been made into movies. Any ideas if any movies based on your books are in the pipeline?
My real question, however, is this. We recently saw Neil Gaiman write an episode of Doctor Who. Do you think you would ever write an episode, if asked and if so what would it be about?
Looking forward to the next book.
Mark Leney

Mark, I can tell you for sure that there are no plans in the pipeline for any of my books to be made into films. Sorry. Why I don't know. I've always thought they were very filmic but they're probably a bit overburdened with things like plot! Always a draw back in a Hollywood movie... The chances of me writing for DR WHO are as likely as me being asked to host the HELLO 'I LOVE CELEBRITIES' awards... I liked it when I was a kid and watched a few of the newer ones when my daughter was younger but I always preferred a series called LOST IN SPACE. Anyone remember that..? I'm just showing my age now I fear...

Hi Shaun,
Thanks for answering my questions in the past. Your rants are so true. I'd vote for you if you ever decide to run the country. Anyway, I've written two feature length film scripts and a 6 episode TV series and am looking for an agent. Do you have any advice on finding one? If I ever get a break, writing films, I'll try my hardest to get some of your books made. Your books would make great, gritty Brit thrillers. Anyway, keep up the good work. I take it you're seeing the mighty Maiden in August. I can't wait, will be my third time seeing them.
Cheers
Craig Jex

Craig... Good luck with your scripts and TV stuff... as far as agents go you're better off just getting hold of a copy of THE WRITERS AND ARTISTS YEARBOOK and having a look for one in there. If you find a newer agency then they're less likely to have so many writers on their books and that might be a help and if you're sending them stuff then remember to include return postage, just in case... To be honest it's all down to luck anyway and if you find the right agent then you'll be fine but there's no one I could think of to recommend, most of them, I'm told, are struggling to sell stuff (not sure I believe that but what do I know...) but if you find one that has lunch with the right people then you'll be ok... good luck anyway... yes, I'm hoping to see Maiden in August too, they never disappoint... all the best.

Hi
Glad to hear that you are ok J. I think that the scene Ginny is thinking about is from Graham Masterton's 'Black Angel', it is a very nasty one... Did you enjoy the 'Apocalypse Now'? It was so good to see it again on the big screen. Otherwise it has been a bit slow movie wise; I thought 'Armadillo' was good but I was really bored in 'Julia's Eyes'. The 'Silent House' was good for a first, small budget film (I do not often come across Argentinian films) and it was filmed in real time. I hope you have seen the Finnish movie about Santa called 'Rare Exports', that is my kind of Christmas story...
Have a good summer,
Satu

Satu... yes I did enjoy APOCALYPSE NOW on the big screen again... brilliant film... I haven't seen much decent lately although I enjoyed THE TREE OF LIFE, superb to look at but rambled a bit... I really wanted to see RARE EXPORTS but missed it, I'll have to try and catch it on DVD... all the best...
Right folks, that's it for another month. Many thanks for the questions again, they're always appreciated.

June


Hi folks, its me again with more shite and the answers to the questions you've been so kindly asking me again. Personally I have two questions I'd like answered and no they're not what is the meaning of life and why are we here? What I'd like to know is why is it so fucking difficult to flush a public toilet? (have you seen the state of some of them... what do the users do at home, shit in a fucking bucket and empty it on their living room floor...) and also why do people buy cars and then not use the indicators? (how fucking hard is it to flick a little lever up or down...) but anyway...
Apparently there are rumours flying around on Facebook that I was badly hurt in a car accident. Well, I did have car accident and wrote my car off, but I'm fine, just a bit shaken up really. Onto the questions...

Hi Shaun, Mike Chadwick here again just wondering if you had chance to answer any of the questions we sent to you a few months back? Hope all is well and that we can feature you on the website soon. Cheers. Mike

I thought I had Mike... obviously not... mind you my computer has been fucked for months now so I may well have forgotten or sent the answers to the wrong person or something. Send them again and I'll sort it and apologies for the delay.

Hi Shaun
Just had my 60th birthday in October and had an amazon kindle book reader ,one of my first purchases was Epitaph another great book but why was my life spared I was expected to be killed off in some gruesome way .Whilst on the subject of the kindle why are so few of your novels available to download.But more importantly what is wrong with your mighty reds.I am writing this before you meet a real team in the F.A, cup .this will be the last straw for Hodgeson as you are the laughing stock of the premiership, gone from bad to worse .Yes it is me again John the manc wishing you well thanks for allowing me to rant on ,when we are playing like a lot of tossers with no midfield yet see ourselves at the top of the premiership that looks as if no one else wants to win it cheers again
John

John, you manc bastard... good to hear from you again, mate and glad you're happy with your kindle... why more of my stuff isn't available on it I have no idea (lack of interest, lack of support from publishers... who can say...) On the subject of the mighty reds (mine not yours...) I realize I'm replying to this after the departure of Uncle Roy and the appointment of Kenny Dalgish and after your lot have won your latest league title and also been humiliated by Barcelona in the Champions League final but you're right, it was fucking humiliating watching my team playing like relegation fodder. Hodgson was the wrong man at the wrong time. Fine at a small club (like Fulham or West Brom) but he always seemed like he couldn't quite believe he'd got the job at Liverpool. I reckon with Dalglish back we're going to get stronger and signing Suarez to replace Torres has been a masterstroke (here's a Torres joke that was floating around at the time; Q;what's the difference between Fernando Torres and Heather mills? A; One's a blonde haired, one legged money grabbing whore and the other one was married to Paul McCartney... what about that? Funnier than a Ryan Giggs super-injunction...) Your lot have also been shit this season, the best of a bad bunch and that is just the way it goes I suppose... we'll get you next time... take care in the meantime, John... always good to hear from you, mate...

Hi Shaun
Is it true that publishers that demand money before publishing your story are scammers? (only interested in the author's money) And publishers that publish books first then take out their profit via the number of books sold are trustworthy?
Thank you
Sukhy

Sukhy... never pay publishers to publish your books... it's a rip off and no reputable publisher will do it... I was nearly caught like that when I first started but didn't go through with it thank God... if they want your stuff they'll pay you...

Hi Shaun,
Love your books! Always keeps me turning the page with your short chapters and cliffhangers! Has anyone ever told you that some of your main characters seem to have a similar personality to you? (e.g. body count and last rites) I figured this by reading through your rants haha and you sound alot like Mason and Chapman! Keep up the good work
Lena

Lena... yes some of my central characters share some of my character traits... you can't avoid it I'm afraid... Harry Potter probably shares some of J.K Rowling's character traits... when you write some of you goes into every main character in some way, shape or form you can't avoid it... glad you enjoy the books...

Hi Shaun
Remember me?!
Hows the rest of the gang?
Do you still have any copies of Magnum Farce or how can i find it on the internet?
Love Lynne - star actress

Lynne... of course I remember you... and Magnum Farce... who could forget... I don't think its possible to find it on the internet anywhere probably because Brian had the only copies and I doubt if he's ever been mad enough to put the bloody thing up for public viewing (but you never know...) I can still remember making it... I hope you're well and everything is going fine for you. I will try and send you an e-mail privately to let you know what's going on with some of the other "cast and crew" of Magnum Farce as I don't want to bore everyone else reading this with me reminiscing about what happened when I was 16! (Jesus, was I ever that young...) In the meantime, rest assured that I certainly do remember you... keep in touch...

Hello Shaun
I thoroughly enjoy reading your books and I was wondering if any of them would be made into films? I've had enough of these boring useless PG-13/15 films that have no sex, no gore, no orgies, no swearing, not even much liquor and after watching the unrated cuts of Caligula and Salo and the great TV series, Spartacus: Blood and Sand (to name a random few), I can't help but think that a film (hopefully hardcore) directed by you would be a match made in heaven. Have you ever considered it?
Jim McArthur

Jim... any of my books made into films... not a chance, mate. My kind of stuff seems perfectly suited to the Hollywood obsession with horror but no one seems interested in buying rights etc. etc. Perhaps I should have softened the books up a bit, put more cute kids and safe characters in them and then producers would have been interested. Everything is tailored to a specific audience these days (an army of brain dead cretins ranging from 12-25 it seems...) I've been watching loads of seventies films with my 15 year old daughter lately and it makes me weep to see how films have degenerated Godfather, Taxi Driver, Jaws, Deliverance, All the President's Men and The French Connection. The naughties have given us Transformers, Independence Day, Avatar, stuff with Jason Statham in, Skyline and Scream... need I say more... No one wants to take a chance these days, apparently a third of all films released this year will be sequels, prequels or remakes!... So don't expect to see any of my books being filmed now or in the future... thanks for asking though... Uncut versions of Caligula and Salo eh? Must have been interesting...

Hi again Shaun,
I was shocked to hear of your accident; I'm glad to hear you escaped injury although I'm sure the shock must have been a bugger. or is that putting it mildly?
You know, I searched the Web for news items on your accident: I found fuck all. but Cheryl Cole has a new tattoo on her back!
WTF is going on with the news?! I'd much rather know that a talented author had a lucky escape in a serious accident than hear about a non-entity's fucking tattoo!! (Although I'd much rather NOT have the accident happen in the first place.) And since when did Cheryl Cole become the Nation's Sweetheart?!! (As described by the announcer on X Fucker.) I married my sweetheart so what Nation is being talked about; the Nation of fuck-wits? I have to say, although I thought the movie Idiocracy was taking things a bit far. maybe it wasn't taking things far enough! (It was a rotten film, by the way.)
Films: loved Toy Story 3. er, my grandchildren loved it! A couple of films of interest caught my eye; Dorothy Mills (an great wee Irish suspense/horror movie that's been out for a while now.) and Buried, a recent release that reminded me a little of the premise of Epitaph. Not many others I've seen that did much for me - Skyline being the most notable failure. The trailer looked great but the movie was pish - how often does that happen?! Inception was a bit arty-farty. I think the writer was trying to impress us with his/her ability to make an extraordinarily layered plot. In the end all I got from it was. 'Yeah, so what?' I'd be interested to hear if any recent releases have floated your boat, as some people say. myself included!
Oh. The Green Hornet: leave your brain at the door but have a fun time.
I re-read Last Rites: I saw the ending coming a mile away! Seriously, a great read. again. Thank you. My local library still hasn't got a copy of Epitaph yet! Maybe you should change your name to J. K. King; bloody library follows fashion closer than Heat magazine. I think I'll actually ask for Epitath as a birthday pressie. (It's a long time since I purchased one of your books, Shaun. Sorry. Just don't have the finances for luxury items.)
Well, I've rambled enough - too long? - so I'll take my leave.
I hope this finds you and your family happy and in good health.
Before I forget. check out the debut album by The Union. Blues rock at its best. Features Luke Morley (yes, THAT Luke Morley) and Peter Shoulder, ex-Winterville. One of the best albums of recent years.
Take care and all the best, Shaun.
Jim

Thanks for being concerned about my accident (I was touched...) On the subject of recent films that have "floated my boat", I agree with you about Toy Story 3 and Inception, Buried was excellent, Limitless was also very very good. I hated the Green Hornet as I hate most films in 3D... Pirates of the Caribbean 4 was awful, X-Men first Class was ok but not much else... Hangover 2 was tolerable but otherwise I'm struggling... My local has got a restored version of Apocalypse Now next week just for one day so I'll be off to see that... Thanks again for keeping in touch...

Hi Shaun
Wonder if you can help my friend and i.
We have read many of your books and want to revisit some. We have been racking our brains to try and remember the title of one and we cant so i hope that you can help.
In one of your books there is a terrible rape scenario where, a family are raped and murdered. I think that they are nailed to the ground at the time. I think that the scene is at beginning of the book
Sorry to be a bit vague but we are sure that we must have read the book in the mid 90s.
Can you help
Regards
Ginny X

Ginny, my books must have made a real impression on you if you can't even remember the titles... (just kidding...) thanks for your kind comments... A family raped, murdered and nailed to the floor... jesus... it sounds like a mixture of Nemesis and Chainsaw Terror... A cat gets nailed to a door in Compulsion, maybe you're mixing them up... other than that I can't remember any rape scenes in my books (other than the "offscreen" one in Nemesis which also has... sorry just remembered... a rape at the end... I reckon you're thinking of that) If you discover my books again then let me know what you think all over again. And let me know the titles too... I'm intrigued now...

Dear Mr Hutson
I was a freelance illustrator for many years. During the 1970 s and 1980 s I illustrated a lot of book jackets and covers. I am currently downsizing and consequently have decided to sell many of my illustrations and wonder if you would like to purchase, for a moderate price, some original artwork.
I have the original paintings for the following books of yours:
1981. Sledgehammer.
1982. Convoy of Steel.
1982. Slaughter House.
1983. Men of Blood.
1984. Forged in Fire.
1985. No Survivors.
1986. Taken By Force.
1987. Swords of Vengeance
All English hardcovers published by Robert Hale.
If you are interested I will be pleased to hear from you.
Regards
David Griffiths

You did some great artwork on my war books for Robert Hale David and I thank you for that but I haven't got much room for stuff myself unfortunately but if I had I would happily take copies of all your work off your hands. I loved those old books and your covers. Thanks for contacting me, sorry I can't help...

Hiya Shaun,
I have seen in the Q and A that you were looking out for the postman to see what present I had sent you, via your publishers. I never saw anything to say that you had actually received the picture I made and if it was in one piece. I would love to know if you got it and if so what you thought of it. I have got a few books now that need signing so I think you should come to Birmingham soon.
much love Val

Val... I have never received anything from you via my publishers so I am pretty angry about that... I was looking forward to seeing what you'd done for me... sorry you never got your books signed (well, sorry I never got around to signing them I mean...) If I could I would... in the meantime you take care and thanks for writing...

Hi Shaun l first wrote to you back in Feb 2009 to say l was shocked you had chopped the hair off etc, just thought l would drop you another line after reading your last entry on Shaun?s shit which had me in hysterics especially the bit about the cinema, l couldn't agree more the worst example I've come across is a few years ago when the new Harry Potter came out that was a bit scary for little kids these morons in the cinema brought kids under 5 and babies!!!! of course they were all scared shitless and the babies never stopped crying and what did the parents do sweet F A just laughed and joked until several people said shut the fuck up now, you would have thought the parents would apologise at this point but no they carried on chatting until a biker type dude went over to them and said take them kids out or I'll take you out do you get my drift? I've never seen anyone move so fast it was so funny, what pissed everyone off the most was the cinema staff just stood there and did nothing as usual.
I'm glad I'm not the only person who can't stand those Twilight films what a load of rubbish they are I thought the first one was so boring and the second wasn't much better and haven't even got round to the third one, like you say vampire and werewolf films should have plenty of blood and guts in them the True Blood series on FX is a prime example. Oh well that's my rant over and before l forget Yes l thought the AC/DC Black Ice cd was great and I actually went to see them at the O2 on April 2009 and they were fantastic I have never had the chance to see them before but they were so good hope they do another tour soon. Well that's it for now
One of your biggest fans( among many)
Sharon

Sharon... glad you like my rants... I pissed myself reading your story about the biker telling the parents to shut up... I reckon every cinema should employ bouncers to chuck out noisy patrons... they'd be working overtime in the kids holidays though. I think it's because lots of kids and young adults too have been brought up with DVD etc. where you can pause it, get a fucking drink or vat of popcorn and then just carry on watching. They think the cinema is an extension of their front room where they talk over everything and generally don't have much of an attention span anyway. That advert at the pictures that asks people to turn off their phones makes me laugh because it's generally a cue for all the dickheads in the audience to check their phones for fucking texts etc... TURN THEM OFF BEFORE YOU GO IN YOU TWATS... I guarantee you that no one in a cinema for two hours needs their phone on... NO ONE has a job that important they can't be uncontactable (probably no such word) for 2 hours and if they have they shouldn't be there they should be at work... glad you also agree with me about the awful Twilight films (I'm just glad you agree with me about everything...) Good to hear from you again...

Hi Shaun,
I'm (surprisingly enough) a big fan of your books and was considering commissioning some original art from some of your book cover artists to go with my set of books (though mainly to annoy my wife when I put it on the wall) I was hoping to get something done from Graham Potts to start with but I'm having trouble tracking down any contact details for him.
You wouldn't happen to have an email address for him or his agent or a link to a site for him etc?
Regards,
James Moore

James... why should it surprise me that you're a fan of mine... you're obviously a man of impeccable taste... as for the artwork I don't know any addresses or contacts I'm afraid. There might be some info on the site somewhere but good luck finding some stuff to put on the walls and annoy your wife with (a fine sentiment...) all the best...

Hey Shaun,
Hope 2011 is going well for you so far. Just wondering if you'd given up on the website? Been no Shaun's Shit since august 2010...
All the best, look forward to the next book (have been reading since I discovered them in the library at school, about 22 years ago :)) Shaun Doyle this year by any chance?
Have a good one.
Mike

Mike... no I haven't given up on the website just haven't been too well lately (mentally or physically to be honest... but enough of that...) I will try and do some more Shaun's shit but I was beginning to think people are just getting sick of me ranting on about the shit in this world and how dumb the public are... seems I was wrong... No Sean Doyle this year I'm afraid... all the best...

Dear Shaun
Having not read one of your books yet, I can honestly say I will now! I stumbled across your blog accidentially whilst looking for horror writers as my other half makes horror films and asked me to research, and I haven't giggled so much for ages! Please, please update your blog. It's fantastic.
Cheers,
Charlie Bond

Charlie... its not a fucking blog... I hate that word... blogs are written by sad bastards desperate for someone to know they exist... my rants are there because I basically hate this world and everything in it and need to get my twisted black thoughts out in the open (oops... forgot to take the medication again...) seriously though, glad you like it and there will be more... who is your missis by the way, if she makes horror films it's about time she made one of my books into a film... take care...

Hi, Shaun.
It seems even after all these fucking months the so called ''news'' can't stop reporting on talentless fucking celebrities. First it was Cheryl No Talent Cole and now it that irritating Canadian Justin Bieber there was a time when the news was about news but not any fucking more. The main page of all these news sites is Celebrities with real news second. It is times like these that I wish Bill Hicks was alive to put things into perspective but I'm a dreamer. Take today, the shit is going down fuckin' thick in Libya yet the new is fixated on the fucking Oscars. And most of the Oscars go to undeserving films and performances anyway. I mean what's more important fuckin' awards or the situation a in Libya that might affect us all? And let's not forget the financial crisis and on the that note I would like to say that Cameron can go fuck himself. But yeah talentless cunts s are what we should be fixated on. Give me a fucking break As you can tell this shite irks me like a motherfucker
And what is the fucking obsession with Facebook? Is the word this obsessed with conformity now?
A few months back you asked about my site. I was reviewing my own collection but sadly I had to take the site down regrettably as I didn't have the time to maintain it, which is shame but with my writing and shit I couldn't find to time to work on it.
I have a question, I don't just contact you to vent my anger, what book are you the most proud of? I like all your work but what novel do you feel is your best?
I will be getting around to reading Lucy's Child and Body Count back to back soon, so I will let you know my thoughts if you are interested.
Keep those damn good book coming.
James Miles -a long-time fan and fucking proud...

James... there's nothing wrong with venting your anger on these pages, my friend... go on feel free... if more people got angry like you and the rest of my readers about these fucking no-marks that pollute our society then the cunts would be hanging from lamp posts instead of making shit loads of money and getting their faces all over the gossip mags and papers... we need a revolution where all of us "real people" rise up against these bastards, burn the headquarters of OK and HELLO to the fucking ground and then slaughter anyone who's ever been featured in a gossip mag... a ritual bonfire with Jordan, Kerry Katona, Cheryl cole, Mylene Klass and Fearne Cotton on it would be built in Trafalgar Square and then we'd all have a barbecue around it while simultaneously decapitating James Corden, Louis Walsh, Robbie Williams, Jedward and anyone else we hated (David Cameron being top of the blaze...) and I think I've just proved I've got too much time on my hands... but anyway... thanks for your thoughts (I reckon I should have kept mine to myself...) but you're right... with all the shit in the world today the only thing the fucking media are concerned with is whether or not Beyonce's got her fucking period or if Simon Cowell is having his teeth whitened. Having said that, if the public didn't buy these shit rags then there'd be no need for them... As for Facebook and other networking sites... don't get me started on those... am I alone in thinking that people just need to shut the fuck up for a little while... Tweets, Facebook status and all this shit... my daughter is on it because she's fifteen for fuck's sake but why the fuck is anyone over 18 on any networking site? Seriously, don't people just talk anymore? Does no one go "down the pub" or are they sitting there on fucking Twitter? I hate all this shit... there's no mystique about things anymore and I don't care if Stephen Fry had just been trapped in a fucking lift, caught in a fucking sliding door then maybe I'd be interested... The only tweets worth seeing would be the ones that said JUST CURED CANCER or FOUND CURE FOR COMMON COLD, everything else is pointless and bullshit... as for the book I'm most proud of... I'd say either RENEGADES, DYING WORDS, WARHOL'S PROPHECY or EPITAPH (mainly because I don't know how I ever wrote it...) Let me know what you think of LUCY'S CHILD when you've read it and keep on being angry... take care...

First; youse funny. I knew that anyway from reading your books, but reading your thoughts in a blog set me cackling in a way I haven't for weeks. Thank you for writing them; I do hope we'll get a fresh update soon.
Second; a simple thank you for you and your work. Hey, I know you don't necessarily do it for me (well not me personally, right?) but your gut wrenching, skin tingling, cunt moistening way with words makes me read your books over and over and then one more time.
Third; any news on the horizon of a book signing? I've missed them in the past but if there's another on the cards I'll pop along and slide a book under your nose to sign. Or something else interesting and possibly slightly offensive- I don't know... what's the strangest thing you've ever been asked to sign?
Cheers,
Leah

Leah... wow, you have a way with words and I'm glad you think I have too... nice to know I make you tingle etc. etc. How do you know I don't do them just for you personally, ha, ha... and I'm glad you enjoy my rants... there'll be more soon I promise... the weirdest thing I've ever been asked to sign was a girls boob... no joke... a girl in her twenties came to a signing at a shop in Leicester, pulled her T-shirt down and said "Sign this," as she put her boobs on the counter. I later discovered she'd had a tattoo done over the signature (good job I write small...) that was many years ago though... I also signed a girls foot at a signing in Scotland (many, many years ago...) She knew I had a thing about feet (yes, I'm a pervert so nothing knew there...) and asked me to sign the top of her foot which I did (couldn't straighten up for twenty minutes... ha, ha...) so, feel free to slide anything under my nose for signing, I'll be happy to oblige...
Right, that's my lot... sorry if I've ranted on a bit during some of these answers but I'm fairly sure you lot will forgive me. I hope you'll also forgive me for not having added anymore "shit" for a while but I have been occupied with stuff I'd rather not be occupied with (not going to bore you...) and have been very under the weather. I will try to rectify that as soon as possible and thanks to you lot for your kind words and comments which have helped... see you again I hope...